Women's Health - USA (2019-06)

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94 / WOMEN’S HEALTH JUNE 20 19

There were dozens of reasons why I didn’t want

to jump off the back of the boat, grab on to a

rope, and balance on a wakeboard in the Atlantic

Ocean. Among them: sharks, freezing water, and

a wayward bikini top. Mostly, I was simply terri-

fied. But I knew I had to face my fear, because my

son and daughter, at the impressionable ages of

8 and 6, were watching to see what I’d do next.

And the last thing I wanted was for them to see

me af raid—bec ause what if my panic spilled over

and became theirs too?

That thought might sound

unreasonable. But I suspect

my worries about drowning

started when I was 5 years old

and my grandpa scooped up a

handful of the turquoise pool we

were swimming in. “You can

drown in this much water,” he

said. In hindsight, I can see he

was trying to teach an important

life lesson, but at the time, my

young mind latched on to the

fact that even the tiniest bit of

the liquid could kill me. Similar-

ly, I think the reason I have to

give myself a pep talk every time

I take the highway is because, as

a kid, I watched how tightly my

mom gripped the wheel if she

had to enter an on-ramp.

My t he or y i s leg it i m ate, say

experts. And multifaceted. We

most likely fear the things we

do because of a combination of

nature and nurture, says psy-

chologist Carla Manly, PhD,

author of Joy From Fear. My

experiences with my mom and

grandfather are good examples

of the nurture part of the story.

“Children think of their parents

Percenta ge of U.S. adult s

who will experience a pho-

bia at some point in their

lives. Yikes!

12.5