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The Future Exposure therapy is an effective tool for combating phobias, and now therapists are
testing a virtual reality version of it for situations that can be challenging to replicate safely—like combat
zones or super-high heights. Only a handful of experts are currently using it, but a recent study suggests
that VR therapy via an app for your smartphone may treat phobias (specifically heights) effectively
without a therapist’s help. Meaning: In the future, you may be able to swipe your fears away.
Drop Some
Logic
Fear in and of itself isn’t
harmful. In fact, it’s a surviv-
al tool that tells your body
how to respond to threats,
explains Mindy Young, MSW.
However, when your body
overreacts to something
nonthreatening—like a
friendly dog—it can prevent
you from experiencing life to
the fullest. The fix: Talk
yourself down, says Young. If
every time you see a dog
your mind leaps to It’s going
to bite me!, take a deep
breath and introduce ratio-
nal thoughts. For example,
Yes, but the owner says it’s
friendly, and it’s on a leash.Don’t Make
Your Fear a
“Thing”
Once you’ve mastered that
rational thinking, share it
with your kiddos. “Be open
about how some fears may
not be realistic and may
even be silly,” says Lori
Rockmore, PsyD. Then have
a plan for when you do come
across something that
makes you uneasy, so you
can react appropriately. For
example, if heights make
you break out in a cold
sweat, use a mantra—and
say it out loud, says Manly. “I
love heights, heights are fun,
heights are safe.” A positive
attitude toward your fear
(even if you’re shaking on
the inside) helps model
healthy behavior for kids.Fake It ’Til
You Make It
Avoiding your fears just
makes them stronger, says
Rockmore. Instead, face
them head-on. That day on
the boat, I zipped up my life
vest and slipped into the
salty waves. When I inevita-
bly dropped into the ocean,
something surprising hap-
pened: I was elated. Manly
says it ’s normal to feel a
rush. “It’s your body affirm-
ing how good it felt and how
safe you were,” she says.
Diving right in—literally
or metaphorically—might
be impossible with über-
strong fears. In that case,
consider exposure therapy,
a method that repeatedly
introduces people to their
phobias to take the oomph
out of them. For example, if
you’re paralyzed by snakes,
you may first be shown a
photo of the slithery reptile,
then watch a movie with
them, then watch IRL boas
at the zoo...and so on. You
might never want to wrap
yourself up with a python, à
la Britney Spears, but even-
tually you’ll be able to take
a walk in the woods without
worrying about them.a s sup erhero e s, so i f t hey show
their children they are scared,
or tell them something is fright-
ening, their kids believe them,”
says Manly. But specific phobias
may also be genetically inherit-
ed, suggests animal research.
Not all experts agree it’s the
same for humans, but it’s widely
accepted that anxiety disorders
are hereditary. Meaning: If anxi-
ety and phobias tend to run in
your family, then you may be
more susceptible as well.
But luckily, I’m not doomed
to live a life on dry land and
back roads. And you don’t have
to let spiders, heights, or any-
thing else that makes you fret
keep you holed up inside. These
simple strategies can help you
kick your fears to the curb, for
your own sake—and that of the
next generation.