hand and staring at a squirming worm
in the other. “What are you doing?”
Dad asked. My brother, nodding to-
ward the worm, quietly answered, “I’m
waiting for him to open his mouth.”
—John Kasun
Duncansville, PennsylvaniaShe’s Got His Back
I was in the third grade when the
principal called me into his office.
“Did you and your brother leave
the house at the same time this
morning?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered.
“Well, Sam played hooky from
school today.”
I knew that wasn’t true, and I
told him so. “He couldn’t have. The
only game he knows how to play is
checkers.”
The principal smiled, patted me
on the head, and sent me back to my
classroom.
—M.J.C. via rd.comRevenge Is Best Served Loud
Me: Hi! Welcome to [the toy store
where I worked]. Can I help you find
anything in particular?
Customer: I’m mad at my sister,
and my nephew’s birthday is coming
up. What do you have that makes
loud, repetitive noises and can’t be
turned off? —notalwaysright.comRole-Playing
One day, my younger brother
knocked on our neighbor’s doorand asked if her son, David, could
come out to play. Suspicious, since
David wasn’t usually a favorite
playmate, she asked Larry why.
He replied matter-of-factly, “We
need a monster.”
—Pamela Blair
Asheville, North CarolinaJust Following Orders
We were setting the dining room
table for guests when my mother
asked my brother, eight at the time,
to get the napkins. He disappeared
into the other room and then“The highlight
of my childhood was
making my brother
LAUGH SO HARD
THAT FOOD CAME
OUT HIS NOSE.”
—Garrison Keillor, humorist82 june 2019
Reader’s Digest