New York Magazine - USA (2020-10-12)

18 newyork| october12–25, 2020

S

ocialmediahasbeensplitonhowtorespondto

Trump’s illness.Somepeoplewanthimtodie;others

pray hewillmake a fullrecovery sohecango ontobe

regularlyassaultedinprisonbyex-colleagues.Thereis,

however, onethingweallagreeon:Thecollisionofa

deadlypandemicwitha reality-showhost onsteroidshas

shatteredallthat’sleft ofourdefinitionofreality.

Forlo,He fellsickandseemeddeadandburied.Butonthethird

day, He cast off hisbedsheets androseagain.And,lo,thedoorofthe

templehospitalwasrentintwain,andHe ascendedintoHeaven.

ThenHe descendedontotheWhiteHouseLawnandsalutedforwhat

seemedlike 40 daysand 40 nights.Andverily, theprophets inwhite

didcomeforthandsay, “He hathconqueredDeath,thoughthereare

someresidualbreathingdifficultiesthat stillneedmonitoring!”

In reality, DonaldTrumpis stillprobablycontagiousandcurrently

breathingonRepublicanstodeath—butthevisionofhimdefeating

thevirushasalreadybeencutandpastedintoa narrativerendered

official.EventheWhiteHousewebsitehasfootage ofTrumpdeclar-

ingit a miracle,sowhoarewetoquestiontheveracityof theseevents?

Ondayone,doctorscameouttotellusnotallthefactswe

neededtoknowbutonlythosefactsthat suiteda narrativeof

recovery. Thisisinthetraditionofdictatorsandauthoritarians

whofallill—ahostofdoctorsaredraftedbya frenziedpolitburo,

butonlythosewhocanbetrustedtoassurethepeopletheSupreme

Leaderwillgetbetter.

Ondaytwo,Trumpchoreographedthemotorcadetonowhere,

drivingaroundthehospitalandbacksohecouldwavetohissup-

porters.Ononelevel,it wasa CadillacversionofJesusridinginto

Jerusalemonthebackofa donkey.Onanother, it wasa drive-by

superspreadinginwhichmanyofTrump’sunmaskedsupporters

shoutedtheywoulddieforhim.Becausethey weresocloseand

crowded,someofthemprobablywill.If dayonewasTheDeathof

Stalin,day twowasmoreChernobyl,wherea poorlonedriverwas

askedtomake theultimatesacrificeforthefatherland.

THEWRITERS’ ROOM:

I Couldn’t Make

This Stuff Up

The creator of ‘The

Death of Stalin’ and

‘V eep’on a week

that surpassed satire.

byarmandoiannucci

intelligencer

it touches every American’s life every day
in multiple different ways, and he’s han-
dled it badly and people don’t forget that.”
Or, as ex–Trump adviser Sam Nunberg
put it, “Everything has just completely
gone to shit.”
The polls suggest not just that the presi-
dent will lose to Joe Biden but that he
might lose bigly, in a landslide.
When the coronavirus came to America,
the president was preoccupied with more
obvious threats. The first positive case was
confirmed in Washington State on January
21, and that same day, as he landed in
Davos, the Senate was debating an organiz-
ing resolution for the president’s impeach-
ment trial. In the Alps, he dismissed the
news about the virus at home. “We have it
totally under control,” he said. In fact, the
president soon thought that things could
hardly be going better.
After three years of crisis, the election
year had begun with his acquittal on
charges of abuse of power and obstruction
of justice brought by the House under Arti-
cles of Impeachment. At the same time, the
economy was booming. In the Democratic
primary, which would select his opponent
for the general election, the candidate he
most feared, Joe Biden, seemed to be chok-
ing. And Michael Bloomberg was threaten-
ing to blow the whole thing up anyway.
Trump thought about the last campaign
and, ever superstitious, how to replicate its
magic. He was relieved when Hope Hicks,
his closest aide, returned to the White
House after two years in exile in Los Ange-
les. Around the same time, he welcomed
back Johnny McEntee, a former aide he
believed to be a maga whisperer, capable of
knowing exactly what would appeal to his
base. He didn’t think about the coronavirus
much. And then the deaths began.
“If the president had his way, he’d be back
in February,” Newt Gingrich told me. The
former Speaker of the House is an oppor-
tunist, and in the era of Donald Trump, that
means he must be an optimist. In 2016,
Gingrich supported Trump’s campaign in
the hope that he’d be asked to be the vice-
president. Instead, Trump repaid his loy-
alty not with power or higher status in
history but with the cushiest gig in
Europe: He made Gingrich the husband
of the United States ambassador to the
Vatican, based in Rome. Before the pan-
demic, whenever you’d call the guy, he was
in a loud restaurant—“Hi! Yeah?! This is
Newt!”—having the time of his life. So one
might understand why he’s invested in
Continued on p. 20 ☛