rcsMustDie!
Unchainedis
dead.On8 April,
Robot
Entertainment
shutdownthe
serversit once
hopedcouldbea
hometomillions.Thishadbeenthe
studio’sintendedopus,theaction
towerdefencehitreimaginedasa
free-to-playhobbygame.Ithadthe
backingofChineseinternetgiants
Tencent,justlikeLeagueofLegends
andFortnite. Butintheend,it
didn’tevenhaveenoughplayersto
coveritsserverfees.It’sa genuinetragedy,a cautionary
taleaboutwhathappenswhenlive
gamesdon’tgettheairtheyneed,
butit’snottheoneI’mtellingtoday.
Instead,thisis thestoryofOrcs
MustDie!Unchained’s lastweekend,
anda doomedmissiontoplaythe
wholedamnthing.
Aswebegin,it’sSaturday
afternoon.Thelightswon’tgoout
until4pmonMonday.Robot
announcedtheclosurethreemonths
ago,andI’dresolvedtoplaythrough
theentiregameinco-opwitha
friendbeforethathappened.But,to
misquoteDrIanMalcolm,life,uh,
getsintheway.Twojobchangesand
onerelocationlater,hereweare,
withjusta coupleofdaysand 36
mapsyettomaster.50 HOURSTILSHUTDOWN
EveryOrcsMustDie!levelis
borderedbyentrancepoints,which
theorcspourthrough,andcentredarounda portal,whichmustbe
guardedatallcosts.Theroutes from
thosegatewaystothatriftare your
canvas– corridorsinwhichto create
elaboratekillboxesmadeupof floor
spikes,arrowwalls,pounders,
grinders,andswingingmaces. Who
saidorcscouldn’tbetender?
ForOrcsMustDie!enthusiasts,
it’scustomaryto‘fivestar’a map
beforemovingontothenext–
achievingthehighestpossible rating
bynotlettinga singleorcpass into
thatportal,nomatterhowfast or
howbigtheyare.
We’replanningtoholdourselves
tothatstandard– butsincewe’re
abouttofacea rapidincrease in
difficulty,we’llaccepthelpto get us
there.Thankfully,Robotabolished its
currencysysteminJanuary,making
usdefactomillionairesforthe
durationofthegame’slife.An
XP-boostingbattlepass?Yesplease.
Chestsfilledwithtrapupgrades and
stat-boostingtraits?I’lltake60. We’re
troughingatthebuffettableof the
Titanicwhiletheshipsinks.
Aswetriggerthefirstwave of the
weekend,a familiar,raggedroar goes
up.Theorcsarecoming.We’ll be
hearingthatsoundmanymore times
inthecomingdays.47 HOURSTILSHUTDOWN
I takea breaktowalkthedogs. At the
park,theright-angledpathways
activatethekillbox-planningcentres
ofmybrain.Thatnarrowgate would
betheperfectbottleneckatwhich to
headoffanincominghorde,and ripe
fortarpitstoo.Councilplanning
permissionpending.LEFT: Unchained had
tons of playable
heroes left over from
its MOBA days.
BOTTOM: Arrow
walls and floor spikes
are the old reliables
of the trap roster.
O
Orcs Must Die!
FEATURE