Four Four Two - UK (2020-11)

Arguments are a normal occurrence in football when they involve
ambitious players, like both of us were. That’s why I enjoyed working
under Bryan so much – he brought in those characters who were so
demanding with each other. No one wanted to lose a thing and we
had a great team spirit. Even though that squad was very competitive,
we let things go after every defeat and believed we could win the next
game; that things could work out whenever we wanted.
Unfortunately, everyone remembers our match against Blackburn in
December 1996. My English wasn’t the best at that time, so I wasn’t
fully aware of what was happening. There seemed to be a bad illness
spreading through the squad, but I wasn’t affected. The club claimed
that we wouldn’t have enough players to play the game, so called it
off. We never expected to be deducted three points because of that,
though – which would ultimately lead to us suffering relegation. We
needed to beat Leeds at Elland Road in our final game of the season,
but could only draw 1-1. It wasn’t enough to keep us up. I felt so bad
for Boro because I knew what it meant to the town. By then I’d already
become a true fan and couldn’t hold in my tears – I was heartbroken.
Either side of that devastating day, we got to two cup finals. In April,
we were moments away from lifting the League Cup at Wembley, but
Emile Heskey equalised for Leicester late in extra time. In the dressing
room, you wouldn’t have known there would be a replay – we already
felt like we had lost the second game at Hillsborough. Ten days later,
Leicester won 1-0 after extra time.
The FA Cup final against Chelsea came too quickly after the massive
setback of relegation. Unconsciously, it got in the way – we were really
down the week before, then had to get ready for a final in such a sad
atmosphere. We knew we had to forget everything else and focus on
the final, but those bad results had a bad impact on the team. Roberto
Di Matteo scored his brilliant goal after only 42 seconds, which didn’t
exactly help us much.
After that came my decision to leave Middlesbrough. I was still quite
impulsive at 24 and didn’t fully understand the big picture. I only have
good things to say about Atletico Madrid, but with hindsight I might
not have left Boro – or I could have tried something else like going on
loan to another Premiership club. The 1998 World Cup was just around
the corner, and I wanted to remain at the highest level possible to be
an option for Brazil boss Mario Zagallo.
I was actually flying high with Atletico in the 1997-98 season when
a serious injury – a broken fibula – wrecked my World Cup dreams in
February. I managed to come back before the end of the season and
play a few matches, but it was too late: I didn’t make Zagallo’s squad.
When I didn’t see my name on the list, it felt like I was injured all over
again. I was destroyed inside.
Many things didn’t go right for me in the year and a half after that.
Shortly before the opportunity to return to Middlesbrough on loan for
the 1999-2000 season arose, my confidence was very low and I wasn’t
getting along with Atletico coach Arrigo Sacchi. As soon as the chance

to rejoin Boro cropped up, I didn’t think twice. I needed to feel at home to boost my game, and Robson was there for me again – he showed me the affection I needed at that time. To be honest, my second spell at the Riverside Stadium didn’t go the way I expected it to. I wasn’t in my ideal shape and didn’t really click with the new squad that Bryan had assembled. We had Paul Ince and Paul Gascoigne, but I wasn’t in a good moment. That’s why Boro didn’t use the option they had to buy me at the end of the season. That feeling of unfinished business stayed with me. Two years later, the England team’s assistant manager came calling once again. While Robson was Venables’ No.2 when he spotted me in 1995, it was Steve McClaren – assistant to Sven-Goran Eriksson – who contacted me after England lost 2-1 to Brazil at the 2002 World Cup. I already knew that Atletico didn’t want me back after my loan moves in Brazil with Vasco da Gama and Flamengo, so I accepted McClaren’s offer. I felt that my career in England shouldn’t be about failure and relegation. When I went back, I suffered a second serious injury straight away, but at least managed to play the last 10 matches of Boro’s 2002-03 season. There was a more collective playing style than in my previous stints, and it seemed like McClaren didn’t want me in the spotlight all the time. I noticed that the club had even changed the order in which the starting line-up was announced at the Riverside: before, I used to be last followed by a huge ovation, but that was no longer the case. McClaren had his own psychologist in the backroom staff, and I guess it was their decision to portray me as just one more player to underline the team spirit. But I can’t deny that decision didn’t upset me slightly. Setting that aside, I believed that we could be champions – perhaps not of the Premiership, but I trusted our team to do well in the cups. We had high-profile players including Bolo Zenden, George Boateng and Gaizka Mendieta, and an incredible captain in Gareth Southgate. First and foremost, he’s a fantastic person – a true gentleman. Second, he was an exceptional leader who managed to unite the group, and absolutely everyone respected him. Despite not being at the same level as I was in my initial spell, I still scored at Highbury in the first leg of our 2004 League Cup semi-final victory over Arsenal. That was crucial in our campaign – just look at what our opposition did in the league that season. The atmosphere in Cardiff for the final against Bolton was amazing – I got goosebumps as soon I stepped on the pitch. We were confident, and a more solid and experienced team compared to the other two finals I’d played in with the club. I was so glad about the result [a 2-1 win] and it was full of emotion – I was delighted to see Steve Gibson in the celebrations. We had to throw him in the air because of his belief in the project, as he had given us the conditions to achieve what we wanted – to play in Europe. I wanted to stay, but McClaren said I was free to look for another club. In other words, he was telling me, ‘You can leave because you’re not in my plans’. Boro ended up reaching the 2006 UEFA Cup Final and losing to Sevilla. I remember saying back then that, regardless of the League Cup’s relevance, winning it with Middlesbrough made me as happy as when I won the 2002 World Cup with Brazil. It was something very genuine

a challenge I accepted at the beginning of my career – and a dream
come true to lift that trophy. For the giant clubs it may not mean as
much, but for Boro it was our Champions League.
In this final note, I’d like to tell Boro fans that I feel like one of them

I still support the club and hope the team can get back on their perch
again. I might not watch all their games, but I often look out for what’s
going on there and their results. They will always be in my heart after
everything I went through on Teesside.

FourFourTwo November 2020 89

Four Four Two - UK (2020-11)

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