8 ST THE NEW YORK TIMES, SUNDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2020$50 million in annual wholesale
revenue. But costs associated
with trying to navigate the chang-
ing retail economy had brought it
to auction, which concluded with
its sale in 2019 to a subsidiary of
S. Rothschild & Co., an apparel
company, for $5.7 million.
After the last bid, Ms. Smith
slipped out of the office, in tears. “I
left quietly, not wanting to be no-
ticed,” she said. “I felt stripped
and raw.”
On Friday, though, she intro-
duced a new fashion line, named
simply Michelle Smith. It diverges
from Milly in nearly every way
and is a reflection both of the cur-
rent moment and her own new
life.
In the penthouse apartment in
Harlem that she shares with her
children, ages 13 and 11, and often
Ms. Griffith, Ms. Smith described
relief from the pressures of the old
fashion cycle. “Instead of working
from a place of ‘I need to make a
camisole that’s on trend,’ I am ask-
ing myself, ‘How can I express
myself most honestly through this
fabric?’ ” she said.
Milly was a comer in the con-
temporary market of the aughts,
alongside brands like Alice + Oliv-
ia and Marc by Marc Jacobs. It
was introduced to a New York de-
fined for women by the ladylike
polish of Kate Spade and the lust-
ful adventures of Carrie Brad-
shaw. The aesthetic of Michelle
Smith is that of a more mature
New York woman who’s done with
norms of office dressing ( just let a
man criticize her for what she
wears to work — not that she’s
leaving home to work these days
anyway).
Bright and flowy dresses have
been replaced by comfortable and
sexy loungewear: sweaters with
extra-long sleeves and chill-out
slip-on pants, all in cashmere, tobe paired and layered with silk
camisoles and slip dresses for the
dressing-up version of dressing
for your couch.
In muted colors (beige, black
and a few pops of maroon) the en-
tire new line was hanging on racks
in Ms. Smith’s apartment, whichdoubles as her studio and office. A
bolt of black sparkly fabric sat idly
in a corner, awaiting a different
moment in the culture. “I was ex-
cited to use it, then Covid hap-
pened and I literally went back to
the drawing board,” she said.
Starting a business of luxury
casual wear with pieces that costbetween $600 and $1,000 during a
pandemic marked by a steep eco-
nomic downslope for the average
American isn’t ideal. She is using
all her own money to get started,
is selling directly to her customers
online and will take pre-orders
that will dictate how much she
produces.
After decades of the runway-to-
department-store churn, Ms.
Smith is now interested in con-
serving resources, both material
and psychological. “This is not a
time of excess, and Michelle’s sen-
sitive to the fact that she is launch-
ing a luxury brand when the coun-
try is under a lot of strain,” said
Stephanie Ruhle, the senior busi-
ness correspondent for NBC
News and the anchor of “MSNBC
Live With Stephanie Ruhle,” who
has been a friend of Ms. Smith’s
and a Milly customer for years.
“People are not going to spend
money for the sake of spending
money right now. We’ve alltrimmed down our lives, and so
has Michelle. With her, you have a
designer that truly lives her
brands. Michelle Unzipped” — the
Instagram handle adopted by Ms.
Smith as she separated herself
from Milly — “is the brand I fol-
lowed much more than a label.”
On that Instagram account, Ms.
Smith has chronicled her meta-
morphosis from creative director
of a corporate brand and wife to
unbound, freehanded designer
and champion of personal free-
dom, love and L.G.B.T.Q. rights.The Atelier Whirl
Now 47, Ms. Smith first came to
New York in 1990 at 18, enrolling
at the Fashion Institute of Tech-
nology. She had wanted to be a de-
signer since she was a little girl
drawing dresses on the kitchen
floor of her family’s middle-class
homes in Connecticut, New Jer-
sey and Ohio — wherever she, herMichelle Smith Breaks Free of Milly
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
‘I have found my
own voice and
my confidence.’
I am a recent college graduate. I came out to my
mom as transgender once I got a job, moved in
with great roommates and felt safer in the world.
She was shocked and not nice about it when I first
told her. But to her credit, she did her research
and came around pretty quickly. She’s even been
supportive of me recently. The problem: She in-
tends to vote for political candidates who want to
deny me and other trans people basic rights and
take back the few legal protections we do have. I’ve
tried to explain to her that her votes will harm me,
but she doesn’t care. And that hurts. Any advice?
J.L.
I get that your mother’s politics
feel like a personal rejection, but
try to be patient with her. She
sounds like a quick study: fast to
recognize that her love for you is
greater than her abstract discom-
fort at having a transgender child.
It may take an election cycle (or
two) for her to connect that love
with political support for other
trans people.
That’s how it was with my
parents when I came out. And in
time, they were great allies. Many
parents need a minute to process
our identities, just like we do. No
promises, though. Because I also
have friends whose (inevitably
estranged) parents have never
been able to connect the dots
between the children they love
and the rights they deserve.
Remember too: Your mother is
not only a mother. She is entitled
to her own vote. But for the sake
of your relationship, I hope she
soon comes to value the equal
protection of all people. If there’s
a support group nearby, like
PFLAG, for parents and friends of
L.G.B.T.Q. people, steer her there.
She may find comfort and wisdom
in that community. (And for the
record, I think you’re doing a
great job!)
Divvying Up the Inheritance
In the ’70s, I bought a beautiful
photograph by William Eggleston
for not much money. My parents
admired it, so I gave it to them.
Now that my father has died, 10
years after my mother, I assumed
the photo would come back to me.
It’s appreciated tremendously in
value. After their house, it’s prob-
ably the most valuable asset in my
parents’ estate. But my siblings
feel differently. They think they
have a right to share in the value
of the Eggleston I bought. This
strikes me as selfish. You?
H.
The good news? You have exqui-
site taste in art. And you were
generous to your parents. But if
you really gave the picture to
them, 40-plus years ago, it’s now
part of their estate. Unless they
bequeathed it to you in their wills,
its value will be divided among
their beneficiaries like the rest of
their personal property.
When we give something away,
it’s not ours anymore. If you can
afford it, your siblings probably
won’t object to your taking the
photograph and a smaller portion
of your parents’ other assets. An
estate lawyer can help you divide
things fairly.To Gather, or Not to Gather?My grandparents, who are in their
80s, are coming up on a big wed-
ding anniversary. They invited me
(four days out) to a celebratory
brunch at an indoor restaurant,
noting the tables will be “appro-
priately spaced.” My grandpar-
ents have been careful during the
pandemic, but they think this is a
risk worth taking for the occasion.
Other relatives who have not been
so vigilant about precautions are
also going. I’ve been careful, but I
haven’t isolated for two weeks. If
I’d known about the party, I would
like to have done that to protect
my grandparents. What do I do?
ANONYMOUSThere used to be little downside
in going to badly conceived par-
ties. Not anymore! Tell your
grandparents, in a loving way,
that their risk assessment is
seriously flawed. Neither you, nor
your less careful relatives, should
gather with octogenarians for
indoor dining while coronavirus
cases surge in most states. It’s too
dangerous!
Now, this decision may not sit
well with your family members.
But I’d rather be unpopular and
have everyone survive until
Christmas. Still, you can’t control
anyone’s behavior but yours. Skip
the party, with sincere apologies,
and offer to celebrate with your
grandparents privately, at home,
14 days after all of you have re-
sumed strict safety protocols.How Sweet...Since March, my family has been
patronizing several local restau-
rants with weekly takeout orders
to help them survive the pan-
demic. One of them regularly
includes free desserts that we
didn’t order and don’t want. How
do we decline these generous
gifts without hurting anyone’s
feelings?
POPPYUse your words, Poppy! Why
would a restaurateur resent a
regular patron for declining free
food? Say, “We really appreciate
the free desserts you’ve been
sending, but can you leave them
out from now on?” You may need
to repeat this request when you
order. The free desserts may be a
general marketing strategy of the
grateful restaurant, and not
aimed at you specifically.A Hurtful Vote
Social Q’s PHILIP GALANES
. ...................................................................
For help with your awkward situation,
send a question to SocialQ@nytimes
.com, to Philip Galanes on Facebook
or @SocialQPhilip on Twitter.
.