Time - USA (2020-11-23)

41

VIEWPOINT

WE MUST SOMEHOW

START TO REMOVE

SHAME FROM STRUGGLE

When results first
began to trickle in on Elec-
tion Day, I’d already been re-
living several days’ worth of
PTSD from what I’d experi-
enced in 2016. I was still
a single parent then, with
two young girls safely asleep
in the 660-sq.-ft. apartment
we had in low-income hous-
ing. But as votes were tallied
that night, the world around
us began to feel less safe.
This election started to

feel too familiar, as the earli-

est reported votes initially

turned states red. I started

to feel that same disappoint-

ment, sadness and fear, and

my thoughts went to the

single parents who had to go

through these hours alone.

My surroundings were dif-

ferent this year. I had a hus-

band sitting next to me in a

house I owned. I had some-

one to hug and offer comfort.

I could take time off work the

The return

of empathy

As a country, we’re ready for leaders who listen

BY STEPHANIE LAND

next day, and maybe the day

after that. But I couldn’t stop

thinking about those who

couldn’t. The ones who were

already stretched thin, trying

to make ends meet while they

struggled to feed themselves

and their children.

I know that life too well.

I not only lived it for most

of a decade, I wrote a book

about it, so I have also been

telling that story all over the

country for the last two and a

half years. Standing in front

of those audiences, I want to

describe how it felt to work

as much as possible to afford

a small, moldy room. I want

to describe that in such detail

they feel the anguish of never

having enough food, soap,

childcare or medicine. How

isolating the experience was

and how invisible I felt.

Public speaking is not

something my mind and

body do easily. I sweat pro-

fusely. My voice sometimes

cracks. I wake up in the

middle of the night obsess-

ing over what I said and if it

sounded weird. Sometimes

I have full-blown anxiety at-

tacks. But I rarely turn down

an opportunity to share my

story. Somewhere in that au-

dience is a person who has

gone through something sim-

ilar who now hears, “I know,

I’ve been there too.”

I never heard this dur-

ing my hardest times. No-

body looked me in the eye

and said, “What you’re going

through is incredibly hard,

and it’s not your fault.” I’m

not sure why. Maybe they

couldn’t comprehend what

my life was like as a mom of

a 3-year-old who worked as

a house cleaner to put herself

through college. But I never

really felt like they tried to

understand.

To me, the only way we’ll

see a change in this nation

is by listening to people who

have experienced life in the

margins, who have lived less

privileged versions of my

story, in systemic poverty

and facing structural racism.

If we can somehow start

to remove shame from

struggle, if we can care for

people as our fellow human

beings, we’ll start to see how

many of us are fighting in

our own way.

As A country in crisis, we

desperately need that com-

passion. We need leaders

who are able to remember

how it feels to experience

hardship, trauma and pain,

who make us feel less alone.

For four years, we’ve been

bullied by an Administration

that lacks any semblance of

compassion. Our new Presi-

dent and Vice President

won’t be able to repair ev-

erything that’s been broken,

but Joe Biden and Kamala

Harris will not only see us,

they will listen to

our stories. They will bring

back the dignity in simply

being human.

Land is the author of Maid:

Hard Work, Low Pay, and

a Mother’s Will to Survive

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Plastic flags outside the

home of artist Shane Reilly

represent Texas residents

who died from COVID-19