Practice Exam 2 ❮ 237Rating the Student Essays: Flag Amendment
Student A
This high-range paper:- Effectively introduces the argument and indicates the opposition in paragraph 1
- Opens with an interesting example of parallelism
- Clearly establishes the writer’s position against the amendment
- Exhibits strong control of language: diction, syntax, transitions, rhetorical questions
- Builds a cohesive and convincing argument against the amendment by effectively intro-
ducing, combining, and commenting on appropriate sources - Employs transition to further the development of the points in the argument: however,
then, but, ultimately - Creates mature concluding sentences in each paragraph that drive home the writer’s
position - Smoothly integrates and cites sources material
- Presents a coherent, strong voice and tone
Student B
This mid-range essay:- Opens convincingly by including outside information to indicate the writer’s position
against the amendment - Incorporates and properly cites at least three sources to support the argument
- Adequately comments on the synthesized material and includes some relevant outside
information to reinforce the sources used - Indicates an understanding of the process of writing a synthesis essay
56expresses his opinion on this matter, maintaining that if these representatives passed the
amendment, it would severely restrict the freedoms that we as Americans have come to
love.
The first amendment to the Constitution has clauses that are contradictory to theproposed anti-f lag burning amendment (Source A). The proposed amendment would
restrict the provided freedoms and would “prohibit the physical desecration of the flag
of the United States.” Source F claims that the destruction of Old Glory as a protest was
symbolic speech protected by the First Amendment. Though the editorial may be biased,
the author makes a provocative argument. This country has been content with the First
Amendment. Why change it now? It may even create more of a problem. Telling someone
to do something often provokes him to do the opposite. When a child is told to refrain
from an action, the typical response is for the child to test the parent. Clay Bennet’s
ironic political cartoon (Source H) reinforces this idea. It shows an American flag
marked with the quote, “do not desecrate.” The cartoon mocks the idea of forbidding the
desecration of the flag and demonstrates that the amendment may not be taken seriously
and may possibly have the opposite effect from what it is trying to enforce.
It is apparent that the government and the people are currently undecided on theissue. When it resurfaces, and it will, the representatives will be faced with a conundrum:
“yea” or “nay.” Hopefully, the representatives will see the contradictions and turn down
the amendment for the good of the American people and their freedom.