58 practice makes perfect Advanced English Reading and Comprehension
his silence. Because men are taught never to say that they don’t know the answer, they go into
their caves to think in silence—something that women who think out loud absolutely do not
understand.
◆Need for intimacyMen are like rubber bands, alternating between autonomy, or pulling
away, and intimacy. Women are like waves that rise and fall between feeling loving and good
about themselves and feeling depressed, inadequate, and vulnerable.
◆LoveTo feel loved, women need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and
reassurance. Men’s love priorities are trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and
encouragement. If they are not aware of these diferent primary needs, men and women give
only what they want rather than what their partner needs. he result is dissatisfaction, resent-
ment, and hurt.
◆Arguments When two people are emotionally and sexually involved, arguments end up
being more about the way the couple is arguing than the issue that started the argument. he
woman will disapprove of how the man is talking to her and he will feel that she disapproves of
his point of view. When men are unable to say they are sorry because they believe it is a sign of
weakness, and when women do not share their feelings in a clear and direct way, arguments can
kill love.
8 In his book, Gray compares love to a garden that has to endure four seasons in order to
lourish. To avoid the false expectations, bitter resentments, and deep disappointments that can
damage a relationship irreparably, men and women have to recognize and accept their intrinsic
diferences. his requires ongoing efort and attention, but the rewards of a lasting relationship
are worth everything one puts into it.
9 Just as we learn to use revolutionary new technology in our modern lives, we have the oppor-
tunity in the twenty-irst century to transcend the patterns of the past and to redeine the way we
interact. We cannot change our chromosomes, our hormones, or our brain structure, but we can
change our habits, our behavior, and our attitudes toward the opposite sex. Instead of competing
against each other, we can cooperate. Instead of showing disdain or ridicule, we can practice
respect. Instead of striving for dominance, we can seek balance. We need not only to value the
qualities that distinguish us as men and women, but also to maximize the resources that we share
as human beings.
10 Maybe men and women can’t always live with each other, but they can’t live without each
other either.After reading
In the Pre-reading section, check to see if your predictions about the reading text were correct.