458 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT
Vary Your Sentence Length Wisely
Consider the following paragraph:
Many people buy into the cliché “guns don’t kill
people; people kill people.” On its surface, this
statement seems obviously true. However, some
deep thought and analysis about this statement,
its assumptions and implications, shows clearly
that it is mistaken.Not bad, but consider the following revision:
Many people buy into the cliché “guns don’t kill
people; people kill people.” On its surface, this
statement seems obviously true. It’s not.
Why is the last sentence of the revision more effec-
tive than the last sentence of the first paragraph? Be-
cause it’s short. When it follows a series of lengthy,
informative sentences, a short sentence hits the
reader like a slap in the face and drives home an im-
portant point.
Example:
Life is characterized by the ups and downs one expe-
riences while living from day to day.
The writer probably thought that this sentence was
profound when she wrote it. But it really doesn’t say
anything at all. Saying that life has ups and downsis
just stating the obvious. No rational person would
disagree with that. The writer should eliminate this
sentence.Example:
Every country seeks a constant prosperity in its
growth.
This sentence is so vague and uninteresting that it’s
hardly worth saving. How can a country seekany-
thing? Maybe the people can, but not the country.
Saying that people seek prosperity is a pretty uninter-
esting observation. Do they really seek constant pros-
perity? What does that even mean? And what the heck
isprosperity in their growth? Clearly, this is a sentence
to nowhere.Choose Your Words CarefullyLesson 11: Write Masterfully
Good writers always think about the length of
their sentences. Long sentences may be neces-
sary for explaining complex ideas, but very
short sentences are often best for emphasizing
important points. Good writers have good vocabularies. They
know that one well-chosen “bargain” word is
often worth six modifiers.Don’t use overblown vocabulary unnecessarily.
Fancy words are often distracting.Eliminate sentences that state the obvious, are
hopelessly vague, or don’t move your thesis for-
ward. Sometimes a sentence that seemed pro-
found when you first wrote it may turn out to be
nonsensical or unintelligible. Every sentence
should convey a fresh and interesting idea that
moves your argument forward. Any sentence
that fails to do that should be eliminated.Eliminate Sentences to Nowhere
If you must eliminate a sentence from your essay,
cross it out neatly. Don’t worry about erasing it com-
pletely, and don’t be concerned about the essay’s look-
ing “perfect.” The readers understand that you would
have been more neat if you had had the time, and won’t
penalize you for eliminating an unnecessary sentence.
Weak diction: I walked through the finish line
as if my legs were ridiculously
heavy, and sat down exhausted.
Strong diction:I lumbered through the finish
line and collapsed.Overblown diction:An astute scribe shall al-
ways eschew superfluous
grandiloquence.
Effective diction: Good writers use big words
only when necessary.