CHAPTER 7 Building Better Sentences^167
- (Condition) Some populations are diffi cult to survey; , our
work would be easier. - (Time) I’ll make dinner; , you set the table.
- (Contrast) We started our day very early so that we could relax in the
afternoon; , we hadn’t accounted for the volume of
customers. - (Result) Half of my staff was sick; , I called in temporary
employees. - (Addition) We’ll pack our fi les and computers; , we’ll
take the desks and chairs. - (Time) Sometimes we’re fully staffed; we’re not.
Trimming Unnecessary Words from Sentences
Many of the sentences that we write groan under the weight of unnecessary
words:
Wordy: We were searching for a painter who had experience.Corrected: We were searching for an experienced painter.The second sentence represents a very small, but important, change. The correction
eliminates a clause, who had experience, and replaces it with one word—an adjec-
tive, experienced. Let’s look at another example:
Wordy: Record these names in a place to which all of us have access.Corrected: Record these names in a place accessible to all of us.Corrected: Record these names in an accessible place.A common error is the use of my reason for... was that:
My reason for shopping on Thursday was that I knew the vegetables would
be fresh.