- Have^ I^ put^ main^ ideas^ in^ main^ clauses?
- Does^ my^ sentence^ structure^ emphasize^ ideas?^ [See Sample Revision for
Emphasis in Chapter 3, Revising.] - Are^ my^ sentences^ varied^ in^ length^ and^ structure?^ [See Sample Revision for
Sentence Variety in Chapter 3, Revising.] - Have^ I^ maintained^ the^ reader’s^ interest?
- Does^ my^ narration^ reach^ a^ satisfactory^ conclusion?
- Is^ my^ message^ clear?
STEP 5: Proofreading—Checking the Mechanical Details
Proofreading should involve two steps. First, check for grammar, usage, and mechan-
ics problems. [See Part IV for rules and examples.] Check punctuation in dialogue.
Second, check for accurate spelling and word choice. Remember that strong nouns
and verbs are superior to weak, wordy adjectives and adverbs.
saMPle narration
The following narration exemplifies the characteristics and process set out in the
preceding steps. Study the sample and the analysis that follows.
The Chinese Birth Party
“The party is at 6:00,” Yim said. “Will you be there?” I had made a commitment. Now it was
time. I had never before attended a Chinese party, and this was a special one for Yim and his
family, a celebration of the birth of their first child.
According to Chinese custom, the mother and child remain in seclusion for one month after
the birth of the child. At the end of the month, the joyous birth-party celebration replaces all
the traditional American parties known as showers, brunches, and luncheons for mother and
expected child. And what a replacement it is!
Over 150 of us crowded into the Canton Inn, the popular restaurant Yim and his family oper-
ate. In the midst of our “oohing” and “ahhing,” the new mother glowed with understandable joy
over her sleeping baby, a bundle of black hair and pink blankets, wearing a jade pendant and
a gold-coin pendant from Grandmother in Hong Kong. She slept blissfully unaware, first in her
mother’s arms, and then in her paternal grandmother’s arms.
The restaurant tables, arranged in two long rows, were already set with cold roast duck and
chunks of specially prepared pork with a crunchy crust. We nibbled. Soon to follow were bowls
and bowls of Cantonese shrimp, jumbo shrimp dipped in a batter that when deep-fried came
out fluffy and crisp. Traditional plum wine accompanied the appetizers.Narration / 99