40 / Basics of Good Writing
the reader summarize the subtopics before moving to the next major point. In other
words, the transition paragraph summarizes what has come before and introduces
what is still to come. [See Chapter 34, Research Paper, for an example.]
The following paragraph omits almost all transitions. The revision that follows [an
excerpt from a sample opinion paper in Chapter 12] illustrates the frequency with which
good writers use transitional devices to help readers follow logic and organization.
Original Passage
Candidates see the depressed economy as a major issue in the eighth district. Brolliette pro-
poses tax incentives to lure big businesses into the area. The Republican incumbent voted for
the huge tax incentive that brought two moderate-size businesses to the area. Citizens have
been hit with major increases in their personal property tax bills. The businesses offered over
1,200 jobs. Almost all the jobs have gone to employees who accepted a transfer. One busi-
ness’ plant closed in the Southwest. Irate local citizens are footing the tax bill for jobs not open
to them. Brolliette defends the position. Kinsingtonne warned City Council and County Council
members that citizens would resent the increase. He fought for citizen protection before he
announced his candidacy for office. He understands the working man’s plight and the ramifica-
tions of big business on the little man’s pocketbook.Revised to Include Transitions
Each candidate sees the depressed economy as a major issue in the eighth district. Brolliette
proposes tax incentives to lure big businesses into the area. The Republican incumbent, in
fact, voted for the huge tax incentive that brought two moderate-size businesses to the area.
Suddenly, however, area citizens have been hit with major increases in their personal property
tax bills, some as much as double. Although the businesses have offered over 1,200 jobs,
almost all have gone to employees who accepted a transfer as a result of one business’ plant
closing in the Southwest. So irate local citizens are footing the tax bill for jobs not even open to
them. Brolliette continues to defend the position. Kinsingtonne, on the other hand, warned City
County Council members that citizens would resent the increase. He fought for citizen protec-
tion even before he announced his candidacy for office. Apparently he understands the working
man’s plight and the ramifications of big business on the little man’s pocketbook.ANALYSIS of THE SAMPLE REVISIoN foR TRANSITIoN
The preceding revision includes single-word transitions and transitional phrases. The
underlined transitions mark the revisions. Note that as a result of the added transi-
tions, the paragraph now makes more sense.
SAMPLE REVISIoN foR SENTENCE VARIETY
The following sample paragraph lacks sentence variety. Most sentences are about the
same length and follow a similar structural pattern: subject/verb/modifiers.