New York Post, Thursday, December 3, 2020
nypost.com
By suzy weissAmy Chan is a tough-love specialist. But she wasn’t al-
ways so strong when it came to her own romantic life.
In her 20s, the now-38-year-old was cheated on by her
boyfriend, a startup CEO. “I was unable to move for
hours; I felt dead inside,” Chan writes of the earth-shat-
tering experience in her new book, “Breakup Bootcamp:
The Science of Rewiring Your Heart” (HarperCollins).
Chan describes the aftermath of that two-year rela-
tionship, during which she contemplated suicide, as “my
one-woman self-pity show.” But
eventually she realized she was
ready for a new career path.
She quit her big-time marketing
job and threw her energy into Re-
new Breakup Bootcamp: a series of
luxury retreats for the broken-
hearted. Before COVID-19 made
in-person gatherings impossible, a
weekend of workshops — hosted
by an army experts, including a nu-
tritionist, love-addiction specialist,
psychologist, breath worker, sex
educator and medium — started at
$1,995. Now, Chan hosts groups on-
line, where she coaches single women for $800 a head.
The pandemic has altered relationship dynamics
across the board.
“It’s the great relationship accelerator, for better or
worse,” she told The Post, adding that singles have felt
particularly lonely.
Among the unique pressures of the pandemic, includ-
ing spikes in divorce rates, Chan’s focus is on helping her
clients find new ways to heal — especially since tried-
and-true coping methods, such as girls’ nights and geta-
ways, are off the table.
“You can’t go to brunch, but you can hire your favorite
dance teacher and have a Zoom class with your friends
to feel supported,” said Chan.
Here are her best, scientifically savvy tips for letting go
of lost love during a lockdown.brought to heal:
Author Amy Chan
studies how we get
over bad breakups in
her new book.Alyce ChanStay off social
The first rule of
boot camp? “You
shouldn’t call [your ex] or
look at their social media,”
Chan said. From a neural
standpoint, the impulse to
check in is akin to any
other addiction. “When
you’re craving a peek at
their Instagram Story, it’s
because your brain is crav-
ing dopamine, not because
they were amazing.”
The good news is, all
cravings pass. If you’re re-
ally jonesing, Chan sug-
gests turning to something
that gives you pleasure,
such as listening to music
(“upbeat, happy songs”),
exercising, cooking a deca-
dent meal or penning a
letter to a loved one (but
not the ex). “The more you
practice replacing the self-
sabotaging urge with a
healthy practice, the easier
it becomes,” she writes.Change
associations
It’s going to be im-
possible to get over an ex if
you’re living in a shrine to
them, said Chan. Now,
with people spending
more time at home than
ever, it’s crucial to make
real adjustments that will
let the memories of a past
relationship fade.She said that people
should look around their
living spaces to identify
“external triggers.” Start by
getting rid of the obvious
stuff — photos, left-behind
sweatshirts and old birth-
day cards all need to go.
Then, dig a bit deeper:
Does the couch remind
you of nights spent cud-
dling in front of the TV?
Chan said it’s surprisingly
easy to make new memo-
ries, without buying all
new stuff. Rearranging
your furniture might help
“minimize the association
of your home with him,”
writes Chan.Take things one
breath a time
To calm anxiety and
stop obsessive thoughts in
their tracks, Chan recom-
mends an ancient yogic
technique, the 4-7-
breathing sequence.
Find a quiet place, close
your eyes and place your
tongue on the roof of your
mouth behind your front
teeth. Then, breathe in
through your nose for four
seconds — sipping the air
deep into your belly — and
hold it in for seven sec-
onds. Slowly release
through your mouth for a
count of eight. Repeat the
sequence as necessary.According to Chan, the ex-
ercise “calms your para-
sympathetic nervous sys-
tem,” relaxing the body
and directly counteracting
a flight-or-fight response.Don’t wait
to date
Chan said that
waiting for the right mo-
ment — or the right per-
son — to get back out
there is the wrong ap-
proach and can lead to
more moping. Instead, she
encourages people to date
freely after a breakup, even
in a pandemic.
“One challenge I like to
give my clients is to go on
dates with 10 different
people,” said Chan, who
added that Zoom and
FaceTime meet-ups will do
the trick. She also likes to
see freshly minted singles
meet up with potential
mates who don’t match up
with their usual guidelines.
“Swipe on people you
wouldn’t normally swipe
yes to, and go on dates
with someone 10 years
older, and 10 years
younger,” said Chan. The
“gamified” exercise will
take the pressure off the
first dates and ultimately
expand the types you
might be interested in
down the line.1 2 3 4 56 7 8 9 1011 12 13 14 1516 17 18 19 2021 22 23 24 251 2 3 4 56 7 8 9 1011 12 13 14 1516 17 18 19 2021 22 23 24 251 2 3 4 56 7 8 9 1011 12 13 14 1516 17 18 19 2021 22 23 24 251 2 3 4 56 7 8 9 1011 12 13 14 1516 17 18 19 2021 22 23 24 25An American startup will
begin selling lab-grown
chicken in Singapore after
winning what it calls the
world’s first government ap-
proval for “cultured” meat.
San Francisco-based Eat
Just uses chicken-muscle
cells to produce what it calls
a sustainable and healthy al-
ternative to meat from
slaughtered birds.
The company says it will
bring its chicken nuggets to
market in Singapore after
winning the landmark regu-
latory clearance from the
Singapore Food Agency.
Eat Just plans to grow the
man-made poultry in the
Southeast Asian city-state
and sell it to restaurants be-
fore making it available to
consumers.
“I’m sure that our regula-
tory approval for cultured
meat will be the first of many
in Singapore and in countries
around the globe,” Josh Tet-
rick, the company’s co-
founder and CEO, said Tues-
d ay.
Eat Just is part of a global
market for meat alternatives
that’s seen significant growth
amid concerns about the
meat industry’s harmful ef-
fects on health and the envi-
ronment.
Plant-based products from
companies such as Beyond
Meat and Impossible Foods
are gaining in popularity.
Noah Manskar, Wires‘Franken
meat’ OK
for sale
A 9-year-old boy admitted
to slashing his baby sister in
Brooklyn on Tuesday, the
boy’s great-grandmother
told The Post.
The 14-month-old toddler,
named Kiya, had cuts to her
stomach after the knife at-
tack in a Bedford-Stuyves-
ant apartment at around 5
p.m., cops said. Her condi-
tion had stabilized Wednes-
day at Bellevue Hospital,
police said.
The brother, who has au-
tism, was taken to the Kings
County Hospital Center for
a psychological evaluation,
said cops and the great-
grandmother. There were
no charges late Wednesday.
Kevin Sheehan, Tina Moore‘Sis-slash’
by boy, 9