58 Guest and host
The present-day roles of guest and host are based on centuries of tradition. In their simplest
form, the roles are as follows: the host must take care of the guest, and the guest must accept
the hospitality of the host without being a burden to the host. In practice, this means that the
host must offer food and drink to the guest, must make the guest comfortable, and must escort
the guest when he/she departs, and the guest must reject the hospitality of the host several times
before eventually accepting it. Here are some general rules of behavior for guest and host.
- When visiting a Chinese host, the guest should bring a small gift. Items such as tea, fruit,
flowers, and candy are usually appropriate. The host does not ordinarily open a gift in the
presence of the guest.
- When a host invites a guest to participate in an activity for which there is a fee (dinner in
a restaurant, coffee or ice cream in a café, attendance at a movie or show, transportation
by taxi or train, etc.), it is understood that the host pays the bill.
- In most social situations, one of the participants typically assumes the role of host, paying
the bill, ordering food or drink, paying for transportation, etc. It is expected that today’s
guest will be tomorrow’s host, and the obligations (financial and otherwise) associated with
the host will be reciprocated on later occasions by other members of the group. This creates
a network of mutual obligations among participants and solidifies their identity as a group.
It is rare for people to split the bill in China, or for individuals to pay for themselves
when participating in some entertainment as part of a group. It is common for individuals
to have a good-natured fight over a bill to establish the host for the occasion. The custom
of ‘splitting the check’ is new and practiced only by young people, mostly in mainland
China. It is called AA 制 AA zhì, the ‘algebraic average.’
Many common interactions between guest and host are conducted using ritual expressions and
behavior. The most common of these are presented here. Expressions used in welcoming a guest
and in saying goodbye are also used toward customers in restaurants.
58.1 Welcoming the guest
To welcome a guest, say:
欢迎！
歡迎！
Huānyíng!
Welcome!
