cognitive. That is, to feel regret requires that we
think about what we have done (or failed to do).
Regret, by its very nature, requires us to assess the
past and our role in it. It is associated with what
psychologists call “counterfactual” thought, or think-
ing about “what might have been” (Landman 37).
This counterfactual thinking connects regret with
the intellectual process of decision making, setting
it apart from other emotions such as sadness, happi-
ness, and love: These may all be safely rooted in the
present and require only that we “feel” what is right
in front of us. Pure emotions generally stem from a
less cognitive impulse. Whether or not regret is an
emotion at all is a source of disagreement among
scholars. However, the psychologist Janet Landman
argues persuasively that because regret is well known
to have physiological effects (some refer to feelings
of regret as a sharp “pang”) and because it entails
making judgments about oneself, it undoubtedly
qualifies as an emotion (37). Thomas Gilovich and
Victoria Husted Medved echo Landman by calling
regret a “cognitively determined emotion” (379).
Regret is easily confused with other emotions
and patterns of thinking, such as remorse and guilt.
In general, scholars agree that these terms are related
but different. Remorse is typically used when refer-
ring only to one’s own past acts or failures to act,
and only when these acts were within one’s control.
Regret is broader and refers to those types of situa-
tions, but also to situations over which we have no
control, such as the passing of summer (Landman
52). In addition, we may feel regret for events or
policies in which we personally were not involved,
such as the segregationist Jim Crow laws that lasted
in the United States from 1876 to 1965.
Guilt, too, is closely associated with, although
not identical to, regret. Guilt, like remorse, comes
from thoughts and feelings resulting from one’s own
actions. While there is a popular notion of “collec-
tive guilt” over tragic events such as the Holocaust or
slavery, the philosopher Hannah Arendt has argued
that collective guilt simply justifies the evil done:
if everyone is guilty, then no one is (Landman 55).
In addition, it is difficult to imagine guilt without
regret. In Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Macbeth feels
horrible guilt over his murder of Duncan; that he
feels regret as well seems obvious. The opposite,
regret without guilt, is not so difficult to imagine.
One may regret having turned down an opportu-
nity to lunch with friends, but such a regret seems
unlikely to produce guilt.
Regret, then, is complicated. It has the qualities
both of a cognitive process and an emotion. It can be
felt for actions and events both within one’s control
and beyond it, as well as over decisions ranging from
quite serious to hopelessly trivial. The characters
in Jane Austen’s novels and their varying degrees
of regret help to illustrate this complicated theme.
Emma Woodhouse, for instance, the title character
of eMMa, is a creature full of regrets. She regrets
that her dear governess, Mrs. Weston, has married
and so no longer lives with Emma, although she is
very happy for Mrs. Weston. She regrets her friend
Harriet Smith’s poor station in life, a station that has
destined her to depend on the kindness of others
and to marry someone no more important than a
farmer, a state of affairs over which she has no con-
trol. She most deeply regrets her unkind treatment
of Miss Bates, and for this she feels true remorse.
Regret, for Emma, helps her to become a better
person. It helps her understand her own actions and
her role in society (of course, Mr. Knightley helps
her come to that understanding) and thus to mature
and grow.
Emma’s case shows us that while regret is painful
and often forces us to admit failure, it can be a con-
structive force in our lives. It requires us to reflect, to
imagine how things might have gone differently, so
that we do not repeat our mistakes in the future—or
at least we hope so. As it can come both from wish-
ing we had acted and wishing we had not, it helps
us make life changes and identify silver linings, a
process that can be a very positive force (Gilovich
and Medved 379). Regret also helps others see us
as moral people, capable of contributing positively
to society. When F. W. de Klerk, president of South
Africa from 1989 to 1994, issued an official apology
from the National Party for the system of apartheid
that had held sway in his country for decades, he
said, “Apartheid caused misery and deprived people
of their rights” (quoted in Lazare 105). He did not
attempt to justify the policy or to mitigate the pain
it caused. This regret, publicly acknowledged, along
with the South African Truth and Reconciliationregret 87