observed on the occasions when participants received
a thumbs down from a person who they had previously
singled out as someone who would like them. Meanwhile,
inside their ventromedial prefrontal cortex – a brain
region important for valuation – brain activity was going
wild. It confirms that self-esteem is shaped by how others
perceive you. FYI – no one was harmed during this
study; scientists both lowered and boosted participants’
self-esteem and, at the end of the experiment, they felt
just as good about themselves as they did beforehand.
A similar study, published in the Journal Of Cognitive
Neuroscience, found that the brain is particularly frantic
when you’re waiting to find out if you’re liked or not.
During this anticipatory period, researchers saw a lot
of activity in the ventral striatum – a component of the
brain’s reward circuitry – and dorsomedial prefrontalcortex – the area that tries to deduce what other people
are thinking. The more sensitive people were to
potential rejection, the greater the brain’s responses in
both regions. It explains why your self-esteem might dip
when you’re awaiting feedback – be it likes on an Insta
post or a critique from your boss on a big piece of work.
That’s not all that studies can tell us. We also know
that self-esteem operates on two levels: a base grade
called ‘trait self-esteem’ is how positively you generally
feel about yourself overall, and ‘state self-esteem’ refers
to how positively you feel about yourself at a particular
moment (after being snubbed as part of a lab study, for
example). ‘We’ve always known that self-esteemfluctuates across people (trait) and across
situations (state), but these studies can
help us to better understand the factors
that inform a person’s base self-esteem,’
says Professor Leary. Genes play a part;
for example, glass-half-full types are more
likely to evaluate everything – including
themselves – more positively. But your
environment is important, too. ‘Many
different studies have shown us that self-
esteem is affected by events that happen to
you throughout life,’ adds Professor Leary.
‘Childhood experiences are particularly
important.’ Those who have consistently
felt validated via school achievements,
rewarding jobs and loyal friendships havehigher trait self-esteem than those who
have felt socially isolated. On the flipside,
a rejection or failure can lower both your
state self-esteem temporarily and your trait
self-esteem in the long run, especially if you
experience a series of setbacks. Fluctuating
levels have also been linked with lower trait
self-esteem overall, as well as symptoms of
common mental health problems, such as
depression and anxiety.MONO-LOG OFF
It seems the science of self-
esteem can help explain why
it’s elusive for some, while
others have the equivalent of
a bulletproof bodysuit, but not
how you go from the former to
the latter. It’s talking – both the
‘self ’ and ‘social’ kind. ‘All words
are associated with feelings- you automatically know
whether flowers, puppies and
war are good or bad,’ explains
Kristen Lindquist. An associate
professor of psychology and
neuroscience at the University
of North Carolina, she
researches the brain activity
behind emotions and explains
that just thinking of a word is
enough to activate the feelings
you associate with it; say the
word ‘flower’ and your brain
will dive into your neurological
data, replaying all the sensory,
motor and emotional
sensations that have occurred
when processing that word in
the past. Take a word pertaining
to the self (stupid, fat, ugly; as
well as intelligent, slim, pretty)
and your brain does an even
deeper dive – and the same
effect occurs, whether it’s
self-talk or real-talk. As for how
much a negative word stings?
That comes down to something
Studies have confirmed that
self-esteem has a direct positive
correlation with emotional wellbeing
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