Lives of the Stoics 109
he was called to a sacrifice by his students; there he drank sweet, unmixed
wine, and losing his head left the realm of men on the fifth day at the
age of seventy-three, in the 143rd Olympiad [208-204 B.c.], as Apollo-
dorus says in his Chronology .... 185. But some say that he died after
being seized with a fit of laughter; for when an ass had eaten his figs, he
said to the old woman, "So give the ass some unmixed wine to swill",
at which he cackled so heartily that he died ....
186 .... The philosopher also used to put forth arguments of this
sort: "He who tells the mysteries to the uninitiated is impious; but the
high priest tells
priest is impious." Another one: "That which is not in the city is not in
the house; but a well is not in the city, so it is not in the house." Another
one: "There is a head; and you do not have it; there is indeed a head
one: "If someone is in Megara, he is not in Athens; but a man is in
Megara; therefore, there is not a man in Athens." And again: "If you say
something, this comes out of your mouth; but you say wagon; therefore, a
wagon comes out of your mouth." And: "If you have not lost something,
then you have it; but you did not lose horns; therefore, you have horns".
But others say that this argument is by Euboulides.
Some people assail Chrysippus for having written much that is shame-
ful and indecent. For in his work On the Ancient Natural Philosophers he
reinterprets the story about Hera and Zeus/ saying at line 600 or so
things which no one could say without defiling his mouth. 188. For, they
say, he reinterprets this story into something extremely shameful, even
if he does praise it as being a contribution to physics; still, it is more
fitting for cheap hookers than gods. The story, moreover, is not recorded
by the professional bibliographers; for [they say that] it is not found in
Polemo or Hypsicrates and not even in Antigonus, but that it was made
up by him. In the On the Republic he says [that one may] lie with mothers
and daughters and sons, and he says the same thing right at the beginning
of his On Things Not Worth Choosing for Their own Sakes. And around
line 1000 of book three of On the Just he urges that [people] should eat
the dead. And in book two of On Lift and the Making Money he says
that he is planning for how the wise man will make money. 189. And
yet, why must he make money? For if it is for the sake of life, life is an
indifferent; if for the sake of pleasure, this too is indifferent; and if for
the sake of virtue, then [virtue] is self-sufficient for happiness. And the
means of making money are ridiculous, such as [receiving it] from a
king-for one must yield to him; and [so too] for [making money] from
- The deception of Zeus, Iliad 14.