Acquisitions Incorporated

ship began when Jim was the only surviving candidate
in the running for a hotly contested position with the
company. (Any deaths incurred in this process wer e in-
cidental , and not the result of the actions or negligence
of Acq Inc.)

How I T STARTED

Acquisitions Incorporated began as most adventuring
groups do, with the wholesale removal of irksome ko-
bolds, scouting ruined towers, delving into dwarven
necropolis-cities. and abandoning wounded goblin
hirelings named Splug to a terrible fate. The usual stuff.
But in short order, Acq Inc traded kobolds for dragons.
and upgraded ruined towers to eldritch temples. As the
company grew. so too did its demand for willing and
able-bodied adventurers. However, a limited payroll
meant having to settle for one or the other.
After coming to the conclusion that a mission state·
ment best described as "minion harvesting'' sent the
wrong message. Acquisitions Incorporated started an
internship program. In accordance with the truism "you
get what you pay for," the very first Acq Inc intern died
on his second assignment with the company. But like all
good leaders, Om in Oran understood that truisms cut
two ways, and he led the remaining team on a legendary
trek through the Nine Hells to recover the soul of said
intern. (Clearly. none of those hells paid for him either.)
The rogue Viari is one of Acquisitions lncorporated's
best internship success stories. I n fact, he was so suc-
cessful that he remained the company's flagship intern
for nearly a decade. He first joined Acquisitions Incorpo-
rated during an expedition into the Undermountain dun-
geons ofHalaster Blackcloak (who. due to an ongoing
defamation suit, we can no longer refer to as "the Mad
Mage"). From regrowing his own arm after an unfortu-
nace incident with the Apocalypse Dagger, to wrangling
dinosaurs to win street races, Viari has earned some-
thing far more valuable than a regular salary with Acq
Inc. He's earned on-the-job experience.

AGGRESSIVE EXPANSION

Thanks to the company's continuing success and robust

internship program, Acquisitions Incorporated has long

since outgrown garden-variety slaughter and disregard

for public well-being. Morgren. an elf ranger from the

Elsewynn. joined the team as a troubleshooter some

time ago, and quickly showed that her propensity for

slaughter and disregard for the public well-being is far

beyond garden variety.

Morgren's recruitment coincided with Acquisitions

Incorporated acquiring its first airship. Diviners have

theorized that this was no coincidence. but the com-

bined psychic will of all mortal creatures to put as much

distance between them and the ranger as possible. More

practical minds see the folly in this. since the airship

simply gave Morgren a better vantage point.

Beyond the core Acquisitions I ncorporatcd crew,

Omin Oran has overseen regular strategic expansion

of the Acq Inc brand. The "C" Team. the "B" team, and

numerous other franchise operations have been estab-

lished. flying the Acq Inc flag. bearing the Acq Inc sigil,

. ot always what the
\Vhat the customer wants is n

customer nee d s ... or gets. - Jim Oark111ag1c ·

and- most crucially- paying a cut of the profits into

company coffers on a monthly basis.

THE ADVENTURING Biz

In the years between its founding and today. Acquisi-

tions Incorporated has pried deep into the underbelly

of Waterdeep, commandeered battle balloons above

the jungles of Chu It. faced down mechanical beholders,

and robbed a bank operated by devils. The team has

also rubbed shou Ide rs with some of the most notorious

figures in the Forgotten Realms. including bumping

into Drizzt Do'Urden while journeying through the

Underdark.

When Jim Darkmagic became afflicted with the Death

Curse. there was no definitive proof that this was a

direct result of his employment with Acquisitions In-

corporated. or had been incurred while on assignment.

However, as Om in had already made his stance on the

subject of death and termination of employment con-

t racts very clear. he sought to break the curse. Dabbling

in some light cloning and contracting the help of a trash

witch, the team managed to restore Jim to peak produc-

tivity. Never one to waste company resources. Om in

also traded Jim's clone to a devil. lt seemed prudent

at the time.

However, nothi ng in Acquisitions Incorporated's sto·

ried history encapsulates the company's efficacy better

than the recovery of Omin"s siscer, Auspicia Oran. from

the Wandering Crypt. The specifies of her initial capture

by that dread creature remain shrouded in mystery.

Some say it was inspired by th e e\•il actions of Omin"s

other sister, Portentia. Some also speculate that as the

sole shareholder of Acq Inc. Om in founded the company

for the express purpose of rescuing his beloved sister.

Acquisitions Incorporated will not be making further

statements on the matter at this time.

No COMPETITION

The company's mounting successes have led. of course,

to imitators and rivals. The Six, counting among their

number a certain left-for-dead goblin now named Splu-

goth the Returned, have been a persistent splinter in the

Acq Inc corporate paw for ages. Suggesting that acqui-

sition is a family business, Omin's own sister Portentia

now runs and serves a competing company called Oran

Enterprises. Originally founded by what turned out to be

a false version of Omin's lost sister, Auspicia. Oran En-

terprises has long sought to execute a hostile takeover

of Acquisitions Incorporated. All such efforts have been

skillfully rebuffed, of course, with Acq Inc embracing its

place as an always-independent (and clearly superior)

operation.

Riding its past success into a completely deliberate

and planned expansion across the multiverse. Acqui-

sitions Incorporated shows no signs of slowing down.

(Because that would likely require self-reflection and

Cl! \l'TER I .\CQUISl'TIO\'S l~CORPORATED