Negotiations (never use this term with financial aid officers—
they hate it!) require some careful balancing and delicate control.
Use the following guidelines to ensure that you are in control:- Be sure the coach always knows that the amount of the
financial aid award will be a critical factor in choosing a
college. A parent might say, Coach, I don’t mean to be auda-
cious, but it’s important to me that you know I need/expect
financial aid for my son/daughter. - Be sure the coach knows that no commitment will be
made until an award letter, tender, or contract is forth-
coming. Coach, I mean no offense, and I’m confident you
understand when I say that we can’t make a final commitment
to you until we receive the award letter [Division III] or athletic
tender [Division I or II]. Is that fair?
The importance of asking “Is that fair?” Are you kidding?
You’ve been telling me that the recruiting process is unfair.
Guess what: it is.
This seemingly innocuous sales technique has a powerful
effect on the receiver of its message. (If the recipient of that
question says no, then that person is unfair.) This subtle psy-
chological device is very powerful because the receiver usu-
ally perceives him/herself as a fair person and instinctively
wishes to maintain that perception
with a “yes” answer. (Meaning: I
am a fair person.) Also, the ques-
tion is unexpected in an emotionally
intense situation giving the recipient
less psychological room to gather his/
her thoughts and respond in his/
her best interests and not respond to
the psychological protection of their
116 The Sports Scholarships Insider’s Guide
3
The
Tr uT h Is
Very few people,
including coaches,
enjoy being
perceived as unfair.