His face had been struggling to stay calm as he listened to me, but now he was crying but trying
to control himself. “It was just some kind of blind impulse you had in the tree there, you didn’t
know what you were doing. Was that it?”
“Yes, yes, that was it. Oh that was it, but how can you believe that? How can you believe that? I
can’t even make myself pretend that you could believe that.”
“I do, I think I can believe that. I’ve gotten awfully mad sometimes and almost forgotten what I
was doing. I think I believe you, I think I can believe that. Then that was it. Something just
seized you. It wasn’t anything you really felt against me, it wasn’t some kind of hate you’ve felt
all along. It wasn’t anything personal.”
“No, I don’t know how to show you, how can I show you, Finny? Tell me how to show you. It
was just some ignorance inside me, some crazy thing inside me, something blind, that’s all it
was.”
He was nodding his head, his jaw tightening and his eyes closed on the tears. “I believe you. It’s
okay because I understand and I believe you. You’ve already shown me and I believe you.”
The rest of the day passed quickly. Dr. Stanpole had told me in the corridor that he was going to
set the bone that afternoon. Come back around 5 o’clock, he had said, when Finny should be
coming out of the anaesthesia.
I left the Infirmary and went to my 10:10 class, which was on American history. Mr. Patch-
Withers gave us a five-minute written quiz on the “necessary and proper” clause of the
Constitution. At 11 o’clock I left that building and crossed the Center Common where a few
students were already lounging although it was still a little early in the season for that. I went
into the First Building, walked up the stairs where Finny had fallen, and joined my 11:10 class,
which was in mathematics. We were given a ten-minute trigonometry problem which appeared
to solve itself on my paper.
At 12 I left the First Building, recrossed the Common and went into the Jared Potter Building for
lunch. It was a breaded veal cutlet, spinach, mashed potatoes, and prune whip. At the table we
discussed whether there was any saltpeter in the mashed potatoes. I defended the negative.
After lunch I walked back to the dormitory with Brinker. He alluded to last night only by asking
how Phineas was; I said he seemed to be in good spirits. I went on to my room and read the
assigned pages of Le bourgeois gentilhomme. At 2:30 I left my room, and walking along one side
of the oval Finny had used for my track workouts during the winter, I reached the Far Common
and beyond it the gym. I went past the Trophy Room, downstairs into the pungent air of the
locker room, changed into gym pants, and spent an hour wrestling. I pinned my opponent once
and he pinned me once. Phil Latham showed me an involved method of escape in which you
executed a modified somersault over your opponent’s back. He started to talk about the accident
but I concentrated on the escape method and the subject was dropped. Then I took a shower,
dressed, and went back to the dormitory, reread part of Le bourgeois gentilhomme, and at 4:45,