23 January 2021 | New Scientist | 43if you are a very perfectionist person.
But it depends on the severity. If the
parent is experiencing severe parental
burnout, then we not only advise you to
work on the resources, but also to go and
see a professional. A parent in burnout can
think that there is nothing that can be done.
They often think that only one factor is
responsible for their situation – a difficult
child or a partner who is not present
enough or parents who aren’t helpful. This
is inaccurate. We have found in our research
that no single factor can produce parental
burnout alone. It’s always the combination
of several different factors.Is there a way to find out if you have
this condition?
We developed a test that people
can take online. It is available at
en.burnoutparental.com. ❚ROEL
BURGLER/PLAINPICTUREIt helps to know that
you aren’t alone if you
are feeling burned outthat, overall, it did not increase. But this
stability hid variation between individuals.
About a third of parents deteriorated during
the lockdown. They were much more
exhausted. These were parents who had
young children at home, and who had to
work from home at the same time. They
perceived the lockdown as a burden and
as extremely stressful.
On the other hand, a third of parents’
situations were improved thanks to
the lockdown. They didn’t have any
extracurricular activities to run and could
enjoy life at home, doing things they normally
didn’t have the time to do. Approximately a
third of parents remained the same.
Is there a treatment for parental burnout?
We have started to research different
approaches. Group therapy, where parents
gather and talk, works well. Parents feel
less guilty and ashamed in this setting –
it normalises the situation. It is terribly
helpful to know that you are not alone.
Parents suddenly feel understood and
valued as a person again. They start to
find a solution together.
What about mindfulness? Does that help?
In another study, we compared group
therapy with a mindfulness-based
therapy. When it works, mindfulness
works very well. But about a fifth of parents
[who tried it] severely deteriorated. So
mindfulness can be helpful or harmful.
As a clinician, I guess that, for some people,
mindfulness just adds another thing to do –
now you have to meditate in addition to
everything else. And if you don’t meditate,
you feel guilty because you were provided
with a way to get better, but were not able
to do it. We don’t know who is likely to
benefit, so for now we have stopped
offering mindfulness.What advice do you have for people who
might be worried that they have, or are at
risk of developing, parental burnout?
The advice is to be aware of both your
stress-enhancing factors and your
resources. And to make sure that you
always care to rebalance any addition
of a stress factor by the addition of a
resource. You may have to solicit the help
of others, or to lower your expectationsJessica Hamzelou is a reporter
for New Scientist. Follow her
@JessHamzelou“ About a third
of parents
deteriorated
during the
lockdown”