56 | New Scientist | 23 January 2021
The back pages Feedback
Smarty pants
“Round and round the garden, like
a teddy bear; One step, two step,
tickle you under there!” Ah, how
well we recall Papa Feedback
first introducing us to the
delights of the type of tickling
known as gargalesis – or is it
knismesis? – with this nursery
rhyme way back in the blue
remembered gardens of childhood.
This sudden wave of nostalgia
is unleashed on us by a startling
instance of thrusting modernity:
hot pants that sense your
movements in order to tickle you
to better athletic performance.
The “Inpulse smart shorts”
were designed by neuroscientist
Devon Lewis at the University of
Southampton, UK, initially with
cyclists in mind. As reported in
various UK media, they come
equipped with sensors that monitor
muscle performance – plus an AI
tool that assesses patterns in the
sensor signals and delivers tiny
electric shocks to muscle groups
deemed to be underperforming.
Whatever tickles your fancy,
we suppose. Feedback would
need rather more significant
electric shock therapy to be induced
into Lycra, let alone wired Lycra.
But we can see this technology
moving in one of a number of
ways, and not just of the “is that
an AI tool delivering electric shocks
in your hot pants, or...?” variety.
A modified version of the set-up
could also be a boon in the socially
distanced gardens of today’s
childhood, allowing toddlers to tickle
themselves without other people
needing to be present. Or, equipped
with a remote control, it could be
just the thing to help parents keep
home-schooled infants in line.Blowing hard
Gerben Wierda writes in from
Heerlen in the Netherlands to
draw our attention to a hair-
raising thermodynamic measure
mentioned in The Guardian.
According to data from
climate scientist John Abraham’s
team, in the past year, EarthSticking point
Feedback has had cause in recent
months to muse on the efficacy of
products employing scalar-wave
technology to solve all manner
of ills (3 October 2020, p 56).
Scalar waves are essentially
waves without the wavy bit,
and with their attendant scalar
faster-than-light energy are
one of the best bits of physics
that mainstream accounts
unaccountably miss out. One
thing scalar-wave technology
has proved useful for is “energy
dots”: stickers that, when applied
to the back of a mobile phone
casing, release emanations
claimed to shield the user
from harmful radiation.
Alas, now an investigation for
BBC News by the University of
Surrey, UK, concludes that the
stickers have no effect on eitherthe frequency or power of
the radiation emitted. Ah, we
wonder, but did they test their
effectiveness in conjunction
with the regulation tin foil hat?Resistance is utile
What the peddlers of fruitloopery
need is more futility testing.
We recently came across this
concept in our relentless quest
for self-improvement – well, in
an email from reader Adam
Green – in the context of a
rapid covid-19 test reported to
have “successfully passed the
Department of Health and Social
Care (DHSC) futility testing process
defined by the UK government”.
Dashing our hopes for a little
pointed political satire at the
expense of the UK government’s
less than hapful covid-19 response,
futility testing, we discover, is a
Thing. Its principle is to reverse the
null and alternative hypotheses of
a standard scientific test: instead of
assuming something doesn’t work,
and demanding evidence that it
does, you start out assuming it does
work, and look for evidence that it
falls short of actually being useful.
This, apparently, can be a
quicker way of distinguishing things
that are utterly useless from things
you merely can’t be sure about.
No, that’s not an opening for
political satire, either. Feedback has
some things in mind we would be
interested in using the principle on,
but we welcome your suggestions.100 not out
Michelle Munro writes from
Ottawa, Canada, asking if we can
give a mention to her father-in-
law, Tony Fryar in Sidmouth, UK.
Michelle writes that in his career
as an engineer, Tony – Bob to his
colleagues – designed the chassis
of the London Routemaster and
other classic British buses.
An avid New Scientist reader,
Tony turns 100 next week.
Say no more, Michelle. Tony,
it is a pleasure and an honour
to have you along for the ride.
We shall raise a glass. ❚“absorbed about 20 zettajoules
of heat, equivalent to the heat
given off by 630bn common
household hairdryers blowing
all day and night, 360 days a year”.
So many questions. Who
bought all the hairdryers? What
are they doing with them all day
and night? And what happens
on the other five days? This
could be a solution to global
warming staring us in the... well,
just above the face.Chop and change
A sad blow to nominative
determinism – and to our declared
intention of keeping nominative
determinism out of these pages
this year – comes with the news,
from reader Barry Cash, of the
retirement last November of
Austin, Texas, based urologist
and vasectomist Dr Richard Chopp.Got a story for Feedback?
Send it to [email protected] or
New Scientist, 25 Bedford Street, London WC2E 9ES
Consideration of items sent in the post will be delayedTwisteddoodles for New Scientist