ELIZABETH HEWSON
HEAD OF CREATIVE AT FINK GROUP,
AUTHOR AND PASTA ENTHUSIASTM
y storyisn’taboutovercomingadversityortrauma– it’s
a ratherordinarytaleofovercominganxiety.I’vealways
struggledwithanxiety:thatall-consuming,oftenparalysing
stateofbeing.Whenit flairsup,oftenbroughtonby
a stressfulsituation,it leadsmetolackconfidence,questioningevery
decisionandanalysingeverycomment.
Thisstruggleledmetosearchfora copingmechanismthatwould
distractmefromthoseplaguingthoughts.SomethingI couldlosemyself
in.Likemostpeople,I’vealwayslovedeatingpasta.Havinglivedand
studiedinItaly,I havea deepunderstandingandappreciationofit.
There’sa pastaforeverymoment,everyoccasion,everyplace.Theirfoodnot
onlycelebrates,it alsoheals.So,oneSaturdayafternoon,I decidedtomake
pasta.I poureda glassofwine,turnedonthemusicandstartedtoknead.
Muchtomydelight,thekneadingaloneprovedtobeintensely
therapeutic– I can’trecommendenoughthesatisfyingfeelingofchannelling
a reallyshittyweekintodough.I startedtorepeatthisroutineevery
Saturdaynight,wantingtorecreatethecurativeeffectit hadonme.
Mindfulnessis aboutbeingpresentinthemomentandI soonrealised
thatforme,absorbingmyselfintheactofmakingpastaprovidedthis.
Duringthistime,myhusbandwastravellinga lotforwork,somostoften
it wasjustmyselfandmyBerneseMountaindog,Forest,at homealone.
Learningtomakepastaalonefeltsafe.It becamea placetolearn,tomake
mistakesandtoknowthatthedecisionsI madewereonlygoingtoaffect
dinnerandnothingbeyondthat.Thereis a senseofvalueyougetwhen
youcookforyourself,it’sextremelynurturingandempowering.Cooking
andeatingaloneallowedmetoestablishthisself-careritual.
InMarchthisyear,I hada baby.It’struewhattheysayaboutbecoming
a motherforthefirsttime;havingLouisturnedmyworldupsidedown.
Youareinstantlychanged,ina processthatalmosthappensagainstyour
will.I wasn’tpreparedfortheadjustment.Goingfroma productive,busy
andexcitinglife– a full-timejobthatI loved,writinga bookanddoing
whatI wanted,whenI wanted– waschallenging.I struggledwiththe
demandsandrepetitionthatcamewitha newborn.It washerethat
I leanedintomyself-careritual.Makingpastaduringthistimewasone
ofthethingsthatmademefeelmorelikeme.Yetagain,it becamemy
escapism.We’reeightweeksinnowandthefoghasstartedtolift.
Graduallyyoubecomemoreconfidentandcomfortablewiththechange
ofpace.Anda smilefromLouiscertainlyhelped.
Whilstnotconventional,makingpastaonSaturdaynighthasbecome
mywayofdealingwithanxiety.Thisroutinecombinedwiththemagicthat
comeswiththeprocessofmakingsomethingsimplehasresultedinan
immenselycomfortingexperience.Sure,it mightnotbethebestpastainthe
world– butit’sthebestformebecauseI madeit withmyowntwohands.
Elizabeth Hewson’s book Saturday Night Pasta will be published in November.➤GOURMET TRAVELLER 55PHOTOGRAPHY NIKKI TO