Australian Gourmet Traveller - (07)July 2020 (1)

I’dfindmyselftrying

togettosleepand all

I couldthink ofwere

the 15 thingsonmyto-

dolist.Awaytostop

thatwasjusttostart

baking,even at 1am.

CHARLOTTE REE

COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER, AUTHOR AND BAKER

M

y earliestmemoriesofbakingwerewithmynan

• wewouldmakejamdropstogether.Tothisday
  wheneverI beatbutterandsugartogether,I still
  dipmyfingerinfora taste– it justremindsmeof
  lickingthebeatersofmynan’soldKenwoodmixer.
  Manyyearson,I begantodevelopanimmenseloveoffood.
  MyloveforbakingreallyrampedupwhenI startedmanaging
  staffinmyjob.I placeda lotofpressureonmyselftobea good
  bossandI wasreallystressed.I’dfindmyselftryingtogettosleep
  andallI couldthinkofwerethe 15 thingsonmyto-do-list.A way
  tostopthatwastojuststartbaking,evenat 1am.I wouldn’thave
  myphone,I’dbetotallyfocused.SoI keptbaking.It becamemy
  ownthing– I couldlosemyjob,orI couldlosemyrelationship,
  butI’dstillhavethisbeautifulthingthatbringsmejoyand
  quietensmewhenI getloudinmyheadortoobusyinmybody.
  Recently,myhusbandandI separated.We’dbeentogether
  fornineyears.Whatis beautifulandalsoincrediblysadabout
  thewholethingis thatweloveeachother,butwealsolove
  ourselvesenoughtoknowthatweneededtomoveon.Youcould
  sayI hitrockbottomemotionally:I’dmovedintoa houseonmy
  ownandtheworldwasshuttingdownaroundme.I’vereallyhad
  to“sitintheshit”asI liketocallit.It’sprocessingonsteroids.
  Bakingbecamea saviourina lotofways– it’sbeena form
  of surviving. I have to focus on the baking process itself and

not thinkaboutmysadnessornotthinkabouthowmuch

I lovethispersonthatI amnotwithanymore.

There’salsothetherapyofgifting.I ama sweetfiend,

butI reallylovemakingpeoplehappy,simplybygivingthem

somethingI’vebaked.Ina beautifulway,it’senabledmeto

connecttomycommunity.I havegottentoknowmynew

neighboursbydeliveringthembananamuffinsandchocolate

cakes.Feedingpeopleandcookingis likea lovelanguagefor

me.It’sa waytoconnectina timewhereI’mnotjustisolated

becauseofmydivorce,butbecauseeveryoneis.

I’mfromthecountryandit createsthisreallynicefeeling

ofcommunity.It’sthisvulnerability– thatI candropoff

cookiesorsomethingandasksomeonehowtheyaredoing,

andit willturnintoa 15-minuteconversation,insteadofjust

a quicktextoranInstagrampost.

EventhoughI usebakingtogroundmyself,it’snotalways

asimmediateasthat.I’vehadtimeswhereI didn’tsealthe

spring-formtinandit’sleakedallovertheoven,orI’veforgotten

toputinsugar– timesthathaveresultedinmomentsoftotal

despair.Butthere’salsobeautyinthosefrustrationsandlearning.

Thethingis,youreallydon’tknowwhatis goingonin

someoneelse’slifeunlessyou’reintheirinnercircle– so you

havetoshowkindness.Bakingallowsmetodothat.

Charlotte Ree’s book Just Desserts is available now.➤

GOURMET TRAVELLER 57

PHOTOGRAPHY COURTESY OF CHARLOTTE REE.