4 An Introduction to Clearer ThinkingOur first and most profound experiences take place in the
family, which has been the most dominant force in all societies
to date. The effect that our earliest experiences have on our
attitudes is hard to shake. There is an old saw, probably apocry
phal, which claims that the Jesuits say “Give me the child, and
I’ll give you the man.” Whether or not the saying is true or false
is unimportant. The implication is clear. During those most
impressionable years at the beginning of the life process, chil
dren learn the most basic attitudes, many of which they carry
with them forever. Certainly attitudes change over a lifetime as
other affecters of attitudes come into play, but clearly the family
is the first and most important element in the process.
It is in the family that children first learn the language; the
words which transmit attitudes come first from the mother and
father. Perhaps even more important than the words used, are the
nuances of tone and emphasis and context which begin the
process of bias long before there is any understanding of the
meaning of that word. In the conversations at the dinner table,
intonations of anger, pride, disparagement, joy, love, and hate -
all enter into the dialogue. Children discover not only words but
their deeper meaning.
Some of the most important attitudes of all are also cultivated,
carefully and formally, in the family. Religious views, concepts
of right and wrong, economic views, patterns of behavior,
manners and tastes are taught in the home. Older siblings who
were taught these concepts earlier reinforce the attitudes of the
younger children.
Second to the family, but of great importance in transmitting
attitudes, is the culture. Culture, simply stated, is the sum total of
all the social forces in the environment which affect us. In this
society, for example, we are in constant contact with others who
generally act in accordance with certain standards of conduct.
We observe then what is considered “socially acceptable” be
havior and tend to pattern our behavior according to what our
observations have determined to be “good.” We learn what kinds
of actions will allow us to move freely and comfortably in this
society. The feeling of security we experience in knowing that
our actions will be accepted by those with whom we come in
contact reinforces the seeming correctness of those actions.
In one sense it might be better to say that we are limited by our