Unworthiness
Anger
Fear
Shame
Self-doubt
Guilt
PAST EXPERIENCES WITH REFRACTORY PERIOD
Figure 7B. The size of the gap varies from person to person. “Who we
really are” and “how we appear” are separated by the feelings we memorize
throughout different points in our lives (based on past experiences). The
bigger the gap, the greater the addiction to the emotions we memorize.Layer by layer, we wear various emotions, which form our identity. In
order to remember who we think we are, we have to re-create the same
experiences to reaffirm our personality and the corresponding emotions. As
an identity, we become attached to our external world by identifying with
everyone and everything, in order to remind us of how we want to project
ourselves to the world.
How we appear becomes the façade of the personality, which relies on
the external world to remember who it is as a “somebody.” Its identity is
completely attached to the environment. The personality does everything it
can to hide how it really feels or to make that feeling of emptiness go away:
I own these cars, I know these people, I’ve been to these places, I can do
these things, I’ve had these experiences, I work for this company, I am
successful. ... It is who we think we are in relation to everything around us.