then consume—the more noticeable the feeling of who they “really are”
becomes.
When we’re trying to escape this emptiness, or when we’re running from
any emotion whatsoever that is painful, it is because to look at it is too
uncomfortable. So when the feeling starts to get a bit out of control, most
people turn on the TV, surf the Internet, or call or text someone. In a matter
of moments we can alter our emotions so many times ... we can view a
sitcom or a YouTube video and laugh hysterically, then watch a football
game and feel competitive, then watch the news and be angered or fearful.
All of these outer stimuli can easily distract us from those unwanted
feelings inside.
Technology is a great distraction and a powerful addiction. Think about
it: You can immediately change your internal chemistry and make a feeling
go away by changing something outside of you. And whatever it was
outside of you that made you feel better inside of you, you will rely on that
thing in order to sidetrack yourself over and over again. But this strategy
doesn’t have to involve technology; anything momentarily thrilling will do
the trick.
When we keep that diversion up, guess what eventually happens? We
grow more dependent on something outside of us to change us internally.
Some people unconsciously delve deeper and deeper into this bottomless
pit, using different aspects of their world to keep themselves preoccupied—
in an effort to re-create the original feeling from the very first experience
that helped them escape. They become overstimulated so that they can feel
different from how they really are. But sooner or later, everyone realizes
that they need more and more of the same to make them feel better. This
becomes an all-consuming search for pleasure and ways to avoid pain at all
costs—a hedonistic life unconsciously driven by some feeling that won’t
seem to go away.
A Different Midlife: A Time for Facing
Feelings and Letting Go of Illusions
At this time of life, other people who don’t strive to keep their feelings
buried ask some big questions: Who am I? What is my purpose in life?