gambling to drinking, add shopping to TV and movie escapism. Eventually,
though, nothing is ever enough. The pleasure centers have recalibrated to
such a high level that when there is no chemical change from the outer
world, it seems the addict now cannot find joy in the simplest things.
The point is, true happiness has nothing to do with pleasure, because the
reliance on feeling good from such intensely stimulating things only moves
us further from real joy.
The Bigger Gap—Emotional Addiction
I don’t intend to diminish the severity of the damage caused by what I’ll
loosely refer to here as material addictions—to drugs, alcohol, sex,
gambling, consumerism, and so forth. Those problems cause great harm to
the numerous people who suffer from them and to those who love and work
with such “addicts.” While many people who experience these and other
addictions can use the steps in these pages to overcome them—since they
are a part of the Big Three—it’s beyond the scope of this book to deal with
these kinds of addictions specifically. But it is imperative to realize that
behind every addiction, there is some memorized emotion that is driving the
behavior.
What is not beyond the scope of this book and is, in fact, its central
purpose is helping people break the habit of being themselves, whether they
view that self as being an alcoholic; a sexaholic; a gambler; a shopaholic; or
someone who is chronically lonely, depressed, angry, bitter, or physically
unwell.
In thinking about the gap, possibly you said to yourself: Well, of course
we hide from other people our fears, insecurities, weaknesses, and dark
side. If we gave those things free rein to be fully expressed, we’d likely be
beyond anyone else’s caring about us, let alone our caring about ourselves.
In a sense, that’s true. But if we are to break free, it means we have to
confront that true self and bring out into the light that shadow side of our
personality.
The advantage of the system I employ is that you can confront those
darker aspects of yourself without bringing them into the light of your
everyday reality. You don’t have to walk into your place of work or a family