gathering and announce: “Hey, listen up, everyone! I’m a bad person
because for a long time I resented my parents for having to spend a lot of
time with my younger sibling, while I felt my needs were being neglected.
So now I’m a really selfish person who craves attention and needs instant
gratification in order to stop feeling unloved and inadequate.”
Instead, in the privacy of your own home and your own mind, you can
work on extinguishing negative aspects of self and replacing those
characteristics (or at least, metaphorically, cutting way back on the role they
play and allowing them only an occasional, brief appearance) with more
positive and productive ones.
I want you to forget about past events validating the emotions you’ve
memorized that have become part of your personality. Your problems will
never be resolved by analyzing them while you are still caught up in the
emotions of the past. Looking at the experience or reliving the event that
created the problem in the first place will only bring up the old emotions
and a reason to feel the same way. When you try to figure out your life
within the same consciousness that created it, you will analyze your life
away and excuse yourself from ever changing.
Instead, let’s just unmemorize our self-limiting emotions. A memory
without the emotional charge is called wisdom. Then we can look back
objectively upon the event and see it and who we were being, without the
filter of that emotion. If we take care of unmemorizing the emotional state
(or eliminating it to the best of our ability), then we gain the freedom to live
and think and act independent of the restraints or constraints of that feeling.
So if a person relinquished unhappiness and got on with his life—entered
into a new relationship, got a new job, moved to a new place, and made
new friends—and then he looked at that past event, he would see that it
provided the adversity he needed in order to overcome who he was and
become a new person. His perspective would change, just by seeing that he
could actually overcome the problem.
Closing and even eliminating the gap between who we are and who we
present to the world is likely the greatest challenge we all face in life.
Whether we term this living authentically, conquering ourselves, or having
people “get” us or accept us for who we are, this is something that most of
us desire. Changing—-closing the gap—must begin from within.
stevenselfio
(Stevenselfio)
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