with good intentions, and then you find yourself sitting on the couch eating
potato chips with the remote control in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
However, just a few hours before, you proclaimed that you were going to
get in shape and stop all self-destructive behaviors.
Most unconscious actions are taken to emotionally reinforce the
personality and fulfill an addiction, in order to feel more of the same way.
For example, people who feel guilty on a daily basis will have to perform
certain actions to fulfill their emotional destiny. Most certainly, they will get
in trouble in life to feel more guilt. Many unconscious actions match and
thus satisfy who we are emotionally.
On the other hand, many people exhibit certain habits in order to
temporarily make the feeling they have memorized go away. They look for
instant gratification from something outside of them to momentarily free
them from their pain and emptiness. Being addicted to computer games,
drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, or shopping is used to resolve one’s inner
pain and emptiness.
Your addictions create your habits. Since nothing that exists outside of
you could ever resolve your emptiness on a permanent basis, invariably you
will have to do more of the same activity over again. After the thrill or the
rush wears off a few hours later, you will have to return to the same
addictive tendency once more, but do it longer. However, when you
unmemorize the negative emotion of your personality, you eliminate the
destructive unconscious behavior.
Opportunity to Write
Think about the unwanted emotion you identified. How do you
habitually act when you are feeling this way? You may recognize
your own patterns among the examples below, but be sure to add
those behaviors that are specific to you. Now, write down the unique
ways you behave when you feel that emotion.