What are you doing up there? You insisted on being guilty, and we loyally
followed your commands for years! We subconsciously memorized a
program of guilt from your repetitive thoughts and feelings. We changed our
receptor sites to reflect your mind—modified our chemistry so that you
could automatically feel guilty. We have maintained your internal chemical
order, independent of any external circumstances in your life. We are so
used to the same chemical order that your new state of being feels
uncomfortable, unfamiliar. We want the familiar, the predictable, and what
feels natural. All of a sudden you’re going to change? We can’t have that!
So the cells huddle up and say: Let’s send a protest message to the brain.
But we have to be sneaky, because we want her to think that she’s actually
responsible for these thoughts. We don’t want her to know they came from
us. So now the cells send a message marked URGENT right up the spinal
cord to the surface of the thinking brain. I call that the “fast track,” because
the message goes straight up the central nervous system in a matter of
seconds.
At the same time this is happening, the chemistry of the body—the
chemistry of guilt—is now at a lower level, because you’re not thinking and
feeling the same way. But this drop does not go unnoticed. A thermostat in
the brain called the hypothalamus also sends out an alarm that says:
Chemical values are going down. We’ve got to make more!
So the hypothalamus signals the thinking brain to revert back to its old
habitual ways. This is the “slow track,” because it takes longer for the
chemicals to circulate through the bloodstream. The body wants you to
return to your memorized chemical self, so it influences you to think in
familiar, routine ways.
These “fast track” and “slow track” cellular responses occur
simultaneously. And the next thing you know, you start to hear the chatter
of thoughts like these in your head: You’re too tired today. You can start
tomorrow. Tomorrow’s a better day. Really, you can do it later. And my
favorite: This doesn’t feel right.
If that doesn’t work, a second sneak attack occurs. The body-mind wants
to be in control again, so it starts picking on you a bit: It’s okay for you to
feel a little bad right now. It’s your father’s fault. Don’t you feel bad about
what you did in your past? In fact, let’s take a look at your past so we can
remember why you are this way. Look at you—you’re a mess, a loser. You’re
stevenselfio
(Stevenselfio)
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