february1–14, 2021 | newyork 69Hour,buildinga reputationforextremely
goodcraftsmanship.Evenonrepeat listens,
it’ s difficulttospottheseamsinAppear-
ances.WhichconversationsbetweenMela-
nieandPonch,forexample,aretapedreal-
life conversations between Keatsand
Mashihi,andwhicharereenactmentsor
improvisations?Insincerityshowsthrough
moreeasilyinaudiothaninfilm,explains
Appearanceseditorandexecutiveproducer
KaitlinPrest,becausethere’s noway todis-
tract the audience with stuff like costumes
and sets. And if someone’s voice is insincere,
she says, no one wants to listen.
Meeting Prest was a turning point in
Mashihi’s career and her life. Afterbecom-
ing roommates eight years ago, they settled
into an artistic collaboration–slash–best
friendship. Both describe an early friend
date as something out of an indie rom-com:
“We went on a bike ride to the beach and
made up names for each other,” says Prest.
(They would later recount this scene on
an episode of the Radiotopia podcast
The Heart, in which they contemplate what
it would mean to ruin their friendship
through sex.) Prest and Mashihi soon forged
a deal whereby they would trade offworking
on each other’s projects. When Mashihi
started pitching what would become
Appearances,Prestdiscouragedherfrom
taking a deal with Luminary. The
subscription-basedcompany madetheman
offerforsixepisodes.It was“notbad,” says
Prest, butit wasoneperson’s salary.” Shewas
alsoputoff bytheideaoftheshow’s being
behinda paywall.“I imaginedsevenpeople
listeningtoit andSharonfallingintoa pitof
depression,”Prestsays.Theyendedupgoing
withPrest’sownboutiqueproductionoutfit,
MermaidPalace,whichshefoundedafter
years creatingRadiotopiaandCBCshows.
Forseasontwo,Mashihiis eyeinga deal
with alargerpodcast company—mostly
because she needs better health insurance
to have a baby. While Melanie had success
with her first IUI attempt, her creator is
considering the much pricier prospect of
IVF. Mashihi tells me that futureseasons
of Appearances will shift the focus from
Vida to Jamsheed and eventually catch up
with Melanie’s adventures as a single
mother. If the timing works out, Mashihi
will, ideally, be a single mother by then too.
“I don’t know if she has any idea ofwhat an
endeavor child-rearing is,” says Keats, her
ex. He points to Mashihi’s work ethic and
her preference for being alone. “I think
Sharon’s child will get recorded alot, and
there will be art made about the kid.” HecompareshertotheartistSallyMann,
whosephotographsofherownchildren
inspireaweandrevulsioninalmost equal
measurefortheirunsparingintimacy.
If shehadunlimitedfundsforseasontwo,
Mashihisays,shewouldn’t just make a pod-
cast. She’dhireactorstoplay herfamily.
“We’dliveasa familyincharacter,andthere
wouldbedocumentarycinematographers
shootingus.” Oneofthemainreasonsshe
voicesmost ofthecharactersherselfis the
impossibilityofmakingactorsdoexactly
whatshewants.I mentionthere’s a more
straightforwardmediumformanipulating
reality without collaborators—the novel—
but she’s not interested. “I want to microman-
age my audience’s experience,” she says. “I can
only do that by saying the words and choos-
ing the right music and having more control
over what their imagination is perceiving.”
On Appearances, she worries aloud about
what performing her family could do to
those relationships. The Mashihis haven’t
listened to the podcast, and she has mixed
feelings about whether she wants them to.
“I wish my mom could listen and be like,
‘Wow. Our relationship is so complicated,
but you’ve rendered what we have with such
beauty.’ ” It’s unlikely to happen in reality, but
that’s what art is for. ■Mashihiphotographedbyherex-boyfriendThatcherKeatsonher balcony.
Hethoughtshelookedlikethethird mop.Photograph by Thatcher Keats