H
ello Games’ epic
always looks so
amazingly magical
from afar. I see my
friends’ screenshots of
glorious alien vistas, and I want to
find some of my own. I see the
latest updates, introducing all sorts
of new wonders to discover, and I
long to see it all for myself. But
every time I try, the game seems
ever more unwelcome to me.I’m not sure I’ve ever gotten out of
what amounts to the extended
tutorial. It seems to get longer and
more convoluted with each update- and, somehow, the exciting new
features always ruin my fun, rather
than enhancing it.
The last time I tried was shortly
after the full multiplayer update was
introduced, and while I was grinding
through the opening stages, trying to
scrape together enough resources to
move on, a bunch of other players
turned up, jacked all my stuff and left
me destitute.
This time I’m at the mercy of the
new Origins update, which has added
more weirdness and variety to the
universe. But perhaps too much. My
starting planet is a bizarre mech
world that I can’t make head nor tail
of. There are floating metal balls
everywhere – my scanner says
they’re plants, which is difficult to
believe – and instead of rocks and
minerals, there’s just loads of scrap.
Even the ‘animals’ – actually abstract
balls of light – are inscrutable. It’s
novel, sure, but it’s not a welcoming
place to get stuck.BALLS TO THIS
And stuck I seem to be, because the
game wants me to stay here until I’ve
learned the secrets of crafting,
upgrading, building a base, and who
knows what else. I spend hours
wandering its lifeless surface, hunting
down grey hunks of metal. It feels
like I’ve been banished here as some
kind of punishment.
I reach my breaking point when
I’m asked to find alien artefacts
beneath the surface of the planet.
The problem is, this world doesn’t
seem to have any. I trek for miles in
search of them before eventually
deciding to give up for the night. It’s
at this point I realise I can only save
by returning to my ship – which
takes 20 minutes of real-time walking
back through the same barren plains
I’ve just hiked across.
Listen, Hello Games: I just want to
see all these lovely things you’ve
made. I don’t want to live on Robot
World any more. When do I get to do
all of the fun stuff?two massive regions with more on
the way. While packs of monsters
dot the landscape, the real fun is in
discovering all the little mysteries. I
might find elemental totems that
require a certain kind of magic to
activate, revealing a hidden chest, or
I’ll find little spirits called Seelies
that’ll lead me on a wild goose chase
to some treasure. From a distance, I
can often spot floating oculi that can
be offered to special statues to
increase my stamina – letting me
climb or swim for a bit longer.
It’s a world I can’t stop spending
time in, partly because it’s so densely
layered with fun surprises but also
because it’s just so beautiful. The
region of Liyue is one of my favourite
areas I’ve seen in a game in years
because it’s styled like ancient China,
complete with rice farms, mountains
and a bustling trading port.
I just wish the microtransactions
weren’t so pointless. While the game
throws free characters at you that can
be swapped into your party, most are
earned from lootboxes with
ridiculous drop rates. The currency
needed to buy them can be earned
just by playing, so I haven’t needed to
spend any money on them directly,
but it’s frustrating how impossible it
feels to earn a specific hero that I’m
gunning for. Still, Genshin Impact is
an astounding free-to-play game that
feels uncommonly generous. I’ve
played it for dozens of hours and
don’t plan on stopping – even though
I resent its lootboxes.
ROBIN VALENTINE
THIS MONTH
Boldly went where no one
wanted to go before.ALSO PLAYED
Darkest Dungeon, Legends
of RuneterraTrying to find the fun in NO MAN’S SKY
“I don’t want to live
on Robot World”
Story quests are a nice
break from adventuring.THE GAMES WE LOVE RIGHT NOW
NOW PLAYING
Some of the metal balls are plants, some are rocks and
some seem to just be decoration. I’m sick of balls.Genshin looks like Zelda, but
plays like Ni No Kuni II.