PC Gamer UK 01.2021 @InternationalPress75

decide to move on from Death’s task
(clicking on a glowing dot is not all
that fun, actually) and go further
north. I arrive at the ruins of a wall,
and when I try to cross it, RuneScape
warns me that I’m entering the
Wilderness, where other players can
attack me. I have nothing to lose, so I
hop in. I admire a river of lava, and
then run further north and get killed
by ranged attacks from a beast I
hardly get a look at. I nearly survive
by eating all of my rabbit sandwiches
as I run away, but not quite.

YETI TROUBLE
After I respawn, I figure I’m wasting
my time and I ought to just go back
to the first town and play the game
properly, focusing on levelling. But
the big unexplored map calls to me,
so I start travelling east and
eventually I do discover something: a
little girl sitting outside of a portal.
When I talk to her, she bolts through
the magic gateway.
The ground on the other side of
the portal is covered with untouched
snow. A forest of evergreens goes on
forever. Violet, the kid, starts rolling
Indiana Jones-style balls of snow
down a hill at me. I have to run up

the slope while avoiding the

enormous snowballs, which is

difficult because movement is done

by clicking on a destination, and my

character likes to complete

movement one axis at a time rather

than taking diagonal paths. After

several attempts, I make it to the top

and Violet runs away. I’m curious,

now. I’d assumed that only high-level

players could survive a mysterious

portal adventure, so I’d expected to

die near instantly at the hands of a

Yeti or some other monster.

It turns out there are two Yetis in

the snow world, but they don’t want

to kill me. A minute later, I’m

standing in their house talking with

them about their adopted human

daughter, who’s sulking about a Yeti

festival she’s not allowed to attend.

Violet’s parents are worried the other

Yeti kids at the festival will make fun

of her because she’s a human. For

In some places it’s illegal to use

such an intense lava glow effect.

BURRP’S

TRAVELS

A little jaunt

through a

big world

1

LUMBRIDGE

Full of peaceful

goblins and spiders.

Some humans.

2

DRAYNOR

MANOR

Met Death here.

Learned about

‘spooky hours’.

3

BARBARIAN

VILLAGE

Three identical

blonde women with

spears marched

around me in a circle.

Defragmented a soul.

4

WILDLANDS

Should have

turned around when

I saw the rivers of

lava. Died.

5

LAND OF

SNOW PORTAL

There’s probably

some kind of bizarre

Yeti-related quest on

the other side of this.

3

2

1

5

4

OLD GAMES, NEW PERSPECTIVES

REINSTALL

At some point, every MMO character

finds himself mining some tin.