MARCH 2021 T3 29Opinion
ou know that you have
achieved Peak First
World Problems when
you start complaining
about being sent free stuff, so I try
not to do that, as it would be
unseemly. However, the sad fact is
that my job mainly involves getting
sent shiny new tech baubles that I
don’t really need. And it pays so
poorly that I don’t usually buy stuff
that I actually need either.
However, things have changed.
Although all the death, political
strife and civilisational collapse of
the past 12 months has been very
trying for us all, I think we can all
agree that one good thing has
come of it: I had enough spare
cash to upgrade a load of the
tech I use the most in the run-up
to Christmas.
You se e , once pande mic-st yle
circumstances set you free from
the tiresome need to meet relatives
and friends, commute, leave your
house, buy clothes, go to
restaurants, enjoy cultural pursuits
or sports, and all the other time-
sucking, money-wasting activities
that usually bind us, you do end up
with a shitload of cash to spend at
the end of the year. So I took the
opportunity to practice what I
preach and upgrade my techy
future home for once.
My main takeaway from doing
this? I have learned that if you
only buy new things on a very
infrequent basis, it is so much more
enjoyable than upgrading all the
time, despite what everything elsein this magazine may
imply. We live in a
golden age of tech where
everything that comes out –
with the possible exception of the
wheels on suitcases, which remain
frustratingly crap – is always good.
But the flip side of that is the tech
only gets better very slowly. This is
why people go crazy over new
console releases – they’re the one
product category left where a new
one only emerges every five years
or so.
So, without wanting to sound like
a member of the Kardashian family,
I totally raided my piggy bank thisAnd let me tell you. If you think
your plasma or LCD TV that was
good 10 years ago is still pretty fly?
It’s not. And new phones! The
cameras that they have in phones
now compared to your one from
three years ago? Next level. Can
you figure out which way up the
phone is when you pick it up, ‘cause
there’s no longer a bezel or a
button at the bottom? No. Can the
face recognition work in Asda
when you are trying to make a
contactless payment but you have
a mask on? Hell no. But let’s not get
bogged down in that.
Fridges nowadays: amazing. The
new one I had to get not only has a
light that allows me to see what’s in
the fridge; it even makes cans of
beer come out feeling actually cold.
The world moved forward as I
slumbered, and I didn’t even know.
What I discovered from
upgrading like a normal person like
you, rather than a prestigious tech
journalist who routinely gets sent
free stuff, like me, is this: upgrading
the essentials now and then really is
still a treat. Shopping, consumerism
and having the latest stuff is like
any other vice: in moderation, it’s
thrilling as hell.“If you think your
plasma or LCD TV that
was good 10 years ago is
still pretty fly? It’s not”
Christmas and bought a new TV,
soundbar and phone. Then, while I
was celebrating my totally blinging
lifestyle, my fridge door fell off so I
had to raid my savings to buy a new
fridge. And then, having bought a
4K TV for the first time ever, I had
to upgrade to a 4K Blu-ray player
to complement it, and the 4K
version of Netflix. But you know
what? It’s not like I’m going on
holiday anywhere more exotic than
Rhyl in 2021, so I didn’t care.Y
Duncan Bell
is upgrading
Buying better versions of things
you’ve got already is infuriatinglyseductive, but for good reason