Time - International (2019-07-08)

Time July 8, 2019

7 Questions

‘

I CHOSE

DISTURBING

CRIME STORIES.

IT’S NOT BEEN

GREAT FOR

MY PSYCHE

’

to it and get really good so you’re the per-

son people reach out to for that subject.”

I chose disturbing crime stories. It’s not

been great for my psyche. But I like dark-

ness, and I like providing a bit of light.

And not to sound like a businessperson,

but there’s an incredible audience for this.

Your dad was open about the dark

moments in his life. What did he

teach you? He just wanted me to be

really good at something. When I was

visiting a prison to see the Cannibal Cop

[the subject of her 2015 documentary

Thought Crimes], who was convicted of

conspiracy to kidnap and rape women,

99 of 100 fathers would be like, “You’re

not doing this.” My dad was like, “Good

job, honey.” He taught me we are not

equal to our best or worst actions. He

was somebody who had done fairly un-

conscionable things, but he had also

done really good things. Life is an amal-

gamation of these moments. When I ap-

proach these stories, it’s about thinking

of all the moments that have led to this.

You write about your own addiction

and sobriety. How was it to excavate

those uncomfortable moments? I get

frustrated when the only idea of alco-

holics we have is the woman who loses

everything—the job, the partner. When

I stopped drinking, my friends were like,

“Wait, you just like to drink.” No. You

don’t know what it’s like to live with me.

You should be allowed to be not drink-

ing and not make a federal case out of it.

The book explores the resentments

that emerged within your family

after your father’s death. How has it

been to navigate that? It becomes a

tendency for people in grief to isolate.

You have to work against that. Holidays

will always be difficult; I feel resent-

ful that other families have no missing

parents. But what I’ve realized is, I’m

not alone. A lot of people go through

this with grace and dignity, and I

can be one of those people.

—mahiTa gajanan

I

Love You, Now Die: The Common-

wealth v. Michelle Carter, out

July 9 on HBO, takes on the “tex-

ting suicide” case in which a teenager,

Michelle Carter, was convicted of in-

voluntary manslaughter for encour-

aging her boyfriend, Conrad Roy III,

to kill himself. [Carter started serving

a 15-month prison sentence in Feb-

ruary.] Why did you want to tell this

story? I wanted to create an empathic

portrait of two individuals who were

struggling with mental health. It would

have been easy to make a film that com-

pletely vilified Michelle Carter. But I

tend to look for the humanity in crime

cases. And it’s important to remember

Conrad Roy. He gets lost in the story.

Michelle’s text-message exchanges

with Conrad and others shape the

narrative of the documentary. What

emerged as you sifted through them?

That wolf-pack mentality of girlhood.

Michelle was always the weakest. She

was the oddball, always texting, always

asking to be around other people. I wor-

ried I was additionally embarrassing

Michelle by including this footage, but

I hope it paints a portrait of how there

was a reason why she felt unsafe.

You’ve now made four documen-

taries about true crime. You talk

about “radical empathy” guiding

your approach as a filmmaker. How

do we practice that? It starts with lov-

ing yourself. When you look at friend-

ships, your professional life, strang-

ers, think: How can I be helpful or

additive in this situation? How can I

make it not about myself? It’s asking

people a lot of questions and being

empathic about their responses.

In your new memoir, All That

You Leave Behind, you write

about a pull toward darkness.

Where does that come from?

My dad [the late New York

Times columnist David Carr]

said, “You pick a beat, stick

Erin Lee Carr The documentary filmmaker

on her new movie, true crime’s pull toward

darkness and lessons from her famous father

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