The Times Magazine - UK (2021-02-27)

The Times Magazine 47

but then unhelpfully hidden, half-consumed.
Maybe the dishwasher has broken or the
washing machine has had a seizure mid-cycle
with Sam’s only functioning pair of joggers
inside. What if the brown stain on the wall is
bigger than it was yesterday? And shouldn’t
I finally deal with That Thing in the fridge?
Reading the newspaper will bring the
hot sting of professional envy or a blaze of
hypochondria as I self-diagnose something
rare and untreatable from a health feature.
The post will contain more realities,
such as the notification of a totally unforced
paperwork error – a fine for forgetting to pay
the congestion charge, perhaps, or a bungled
application form. An item of clothing ordered

late at night online will be there, looking so

much cheaper and meaner than I had hoped.

Social media holds more unexploded

bombs. I will see two friends have been on

a cheerful lockdown walk together without

inviting me. My barre teacher will post a

reminder to join her for an online class, which I

haven’t done since November and is the reason

I now have the consistency of a beanbag.

I will suddenly realise I haven’t seen my

AirPods for a week or I will go to Boots out of

sheer, demented boredom and spend £35 on

jazzy new products only to get home and find

that I left my shopping at the self-checkout.

Perhaps my cleaner will announce that she

is leaving, or the fraud department of my

bank will call to ask if I have been shopping

at Gucci, Hong Kong. I could discover that my

Netflix account has been hacked and people

in Peru are binge-watching Bridgerton on it.

The approaching day may contain all that

and more. But not inevitably, and not yet. For

now, and for the next hour or so, the day is

still new and it is a perfect jewel. It is a thing

gleaming in the light between the curtains

(must get that gap seen to), suspended in the

air, just out of reach. n

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