Reader's Digest - USA (2019-07)

When the officer
stopped in front of
me during inspection,
I sharply opened the
chamber of my rifle
and thrust it into his
hands. He glanced
into the chamber and
looked surprised.
Inside was a smashed
cockroach. I figured
this meant trouble,
and it did. Nodding
to the late bug, the
officer announced,
“Legs improperly
aligned—six demerits.”
—Dennis Depcik
Buffalo Grove, Illinois

My medical unit kept
me busy filing reports,
many of which clearly
didn’t apply to us.
Here’s one example:
“Personnel Trained
for B-52 Weapons
System.” When the
inspector general
learned of this, he

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story? It could be

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ordered us to submit

a monthly “Report

of Unnecessary

Reports.”

Among the first

reports to make that

list: the “Report of

Unnecessary Reports.”

—Sgt. Richard Weiser

Erie, Pennsylvania

It was 1943—the

height of World War II.

Reader’s Digest ran

these examples of

military slang “to

help us understand

Johnny’s new lingo

for when he comes

marching home.”

Armored cow:

Canned milk

China clipper:

Dishwasher

Roll up your flaps:

Stop talking

Side arms:

Cream and sugar

Reader’s Digest

Cartoon by Jon Carter rd.com 75

Humor in

UNIFORM