Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

don’t let us fulfill who we are. What will end up happening
instead? We’ll sleep with you and then walk away.
It’s the hard truth, but that’s real.
When I was a young man, I was in a relationship with a
woman who I thought I loved. I had dropped out of college and
was in between jobs, just starting to find my way as a comedian.
She was an enormous help to me; I was struggling, and she was
holding it down for us financially, I admit, but I thought I was
more than making up for my lack of cash by being all I could
be around the house—doing what was necessary to keep our
home in order. See, that’s what being in a real relationship is all
about—finding that balance, even in the midst of adversity.
And adversity will come. Those wedding vows they make you
say? The preacher makes you say them because he and every-
one else who’s ever been married knows what’s coming. For
better or for worse? Worse is coming. In sickness and in health?
Somebody is going to get sick. For richer or for poorer? Some-
body might end up broke, temporarily laid off. Hard times
will certainly come. The question is, how are you going to
deal with it?
This was made clear to a friend of mine one particular day
when he went grocery shopping. His woman was loading up
the cart with everything she needed for the house—the meats,
the vegetables, the fruits, the drinks, and everything. And then
they turned down the aisle with the pineapple juice. Now one
thing you need to know about my friend—he loves pineapple