cally. I’ve been waiting and hanging in there, hoping
he’ll marry me because I don’t think that I will get
anyone else that would want to have a child with me.
Am I being a fool for waiting for him? Should I just let
it go?She and all too many women in similar predicaments can’t
understand why, after all of this hard work, he won’t give her
the one thing she needs and wants. Well, let me break it down
for her and you. Your man hasn’t asked you to marry him be-
cause of one or more of the following reasons: (1) he is still
married to someone else; (2) you’re really not the one he wants;
or, the real answer you don’t want to hear, (3) you haven’t re-
quired him to marry you or set a date.
In fact, I know of a few guys whose ladies are smack-dab in
the middle of this predicament right now. One that stands out
is a couple that dated for a year before she ended up pregnant.
To her credit, the single mom (she has a son from an earlier
failed relationship) knew she didn’t want to have a second child
with a man who wasn’t there to help raise her kids, so she made
it simple for him: “I’m only going to have this child if you’re
willing to be a father for real—not this part-time/every-once-
in-a-while/when-I-feel-like-it kind of dad.” And, faced with
the prospect of losing her and his baby, he stepped up to the
plate: He agreed to be there for their child, and gave up his
apartment, and moved in with his girlfriend while they pre-
pared for the birth of their son.