Newsflash: it’s not the guy who determines whether
you’re a sports fish or a keeper—it’s you. (Don’t hate the player,
hate the game.) When a man approaches you, you’re the one
with total control over the situation—whether he can talk to
you, buy you a drink, dance with you, get your number, take
you home, see you again, all of that. We certainly want these
things from you; that’s why we talked to you in the first place.
But it’s you who decides if you’re going to give us any of the
things we want, and how, exactly, we’re going to get them.
Where you stand in our eyes is dictated by your control over the
situation. Every word you say, every move you make, every
signal you give to a man will help him determine whether he
should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the
next woman to do a little more sport fishing.
I like to think that the way you play this situation is much
like how you climb the ladder at work. Think about it: dating
is a lot like a business; the best way to become successful is to
master and control things you have control over. When I first
started in show business, I knew I wanted to be a top-flight
comedian. But because the club owners didn’t know me well,
all I could get was a gig as the opening act—the first guy up,
fifteen minutes to do my thing, and then off the stage I went.
Still, I knew that if I was on my game—showed up on time,
networked, and, most important, gave thought-provoking,
funny performances that made the audiences and the club