“It’sbesttothinkofmychecklist
ashelpfultoolratherthana set
ofrules,youdon’tneedtotick
eachboxeverytimeyoudo
something,”saysJames.“Some
willcomemorenaturallytoyou
thanothersyet,nomatterhow
obviousit mayseem,eachpoint
hasitsroletoplay.Usingthelist
shouldhelpyoubringsomeof
thethingsthataremissingback
intoyourlife.”STORYExperiencesgiveusstories,
storiesgiveusconversation,
conversationcreatesconnection,
connectionleadsto relationships
andrelationshipsleadto happiness.
Sowhenit comesto spendingfree
timewell,experiencescount.TRANSFORMATIONThisis about
realisingourpotential,becomingthe
personwewantto be,livingthelife
wewantto live.It meansbecominga
bettertennisplayeror loveror
parent,learningto sewor play
backgammon.OUTSIDEANDOFFLINEBecause
scienceprovesthatbeingoutsideis
goodforyouandif youreducethe
timeyouspendonline,you’llfeel
happier.Alltheevidenceis there
that’sit’smoreimportantthanever
thatwetuneout,turnoffandget
outdoors.Making free time count
average 3.5 hours a day online. Compare
that with five or so hours of disposable time
and we’re spending way more than half of it
glued to our screens. No wonder people say
they’re too busy to see friends, exercise, sleep.
You might be wondering why you need
help deciding how to spend your free
time – after all you know the sort of things
you enjoy, so what could be so difficult?
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
has a surprising take on it. “The popular
assumption is that no skills are involved
in enjoying free time, anybody can do it. Yet
the evidence suggests the opposite; free
time is more difficult to enjoy than work.”
When you’re on holiday, do you ever
wonder if you’d be just as happy at home?
Do you ever catch yourself at the tail end
of a YouTube or Facebook binge and
wish you could get that time back?
Worryingly, scientists have found that
people are often no happier after a holiday
than if they’d never taken one. And almost
all of us – 96% – admit to living much of
our life on autopilot, doing things without
even thinking whether they’ll be good
or bad for us.
So, how can we learn to spend time in a
way that’s more likely to lead to happiness
and success? In a bid to tackle the problem
of wasted, unfulfilled free time, I’ve
consulted happiness researchers and
trawled through the latest science to
identify seven factors that will help get
moreoutofeveryday(seeright).Useit asa
checklistandyou’llhavefewerempty
experiencesandfarmorethatareworthyof
yourprecioustime.Thinkofit likeanaudit
foryourmostvaluableasset– yourtime.
AdaptedfromTimeandHowtoSpendItby
JamesWallman(WHAllen).Heisalsothe
authorofStuffocation, a reminderthat
memorieslivelongerthanthings.RELATIONSHIPS As study after
study has confirmed, our friends,
family, neighbours and community
are key to our wellbeing.INTENSITY Because experiences
that occupy our full attention and
challenge us get us into what
psychologists call a state of ‘flow’,
making us happy. It could be rock
climbing, painting or cycling, it’s not
what you do it’s how you do it.
Think difficult but worthwhile.EXTRAORDINARY One of the
magical reasons why experiences
make us happy is that we not only
get to enjoy them in the moment,
we can look forward to them and
remember them afterwards. Those
we’re most likely to remember are
those that are out of the ordinary.
Think about the sunsets, the boat
trip, that run on the beach or
something quite ordinary but
special, like drinking your morning
cup of tea in the garden.STATUS AND SIGNIFICANCE
Althoughwedon’tliketo talkabout
status,whoweareandwhatweare
doesmatter.Thekeyto making
statusmeaningful,ratherthan
shallow,is to learnfromthelivesof
othersandthestudiesthatshowthe
exceptionalsatisfactionthatcomes
fromgiving(timeandmoney).Aim
PHOTOGRAPHY: SHUTTERSTOCK moreforsignificancethanstatus.