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arrested after he was found to have

warrants for both names.

✦A woman whose finger got stuck in

a drain was reported to be conscious

and breathing.

✦Suspicious people were reportedly

doing something with flashlights.

A deputy checked and found the

people were not suspicious, but

merely Canadian.

—policeone.com, huffingtonpost.com,

mercurynews.com

It’s come to this: A Florida gas

station owner has had to place a

sign in her store asking customers

not to warm their urine in the micro-

wave. Parul Patel’s Jacksonville gas

station/convenience store is just a

few blocks from two drug-testing ser-

vices. Why the urine has to be deliv-

ered warm we can only guess, but

when Patel confronted one woman,

she indignantly demanded to see a

sign that bans nuking urine in her

store. Hence the sign.

—nbcmiami.com

I work at a museum, and a woman

asked me if mummies were older

than dinosaurs. —pleasefireme.tumblr.com

“We actually get this question on

a pretty regular basis,” says an

official with Iowa’s Department

of Transportation. The source of

confusion: The deer-crossing signs

that are posted along the road.

And the question: “Why don’t

you put these signs where it’s

safer for the deer to cross?”

—kcrg.com

AND JUST

PLAIN DUMB

I showed up wearing two

different-colored shoes to

make a major presentation to

an audience of 230 people.

—businessinsider.com

This guy came into my Walmart

back room, put on a vest, picked

up the biggest TV, put it on a

cart, dropped it, and then

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