I
n a 1997 episode of Seinfeld
called “The Comeback,” George
Costanza is merrily stuffing him-
self with free shrimp at a meeting.
His coworker mocks him: “Hey,
George, the ocean called. They’re
running out of shrimp.” George sits
there humiliated as laughter fills the
room, his mind searching frantically
for the perfect riposte. It’s only later,
on the drive home, that he thinks of
the comeback. But the moment has
passed. (That may have been a good
thing, since George’s epiphany was,
predictably, mediocre: “Well, the jerk
store called and they’re running out
of you!”)
The disappointing experience of
thinking of the perfect response too
late—l’esprit de l’escalier, or “stair-
case wit”—was identified by French
philosopher Denis Diderot. He was
so overwhelmed by an argument at a
party that he could think clearly again
only once he’d gotten to the bottom of
the stairs.
We’ve all been there, envying those
who are quicker on their feet. So we
decided to ask people who rely on
witty rejoinders for a living—improv
performers, freestyle rappers, and
others—how anyone might seize the
opportunity for clever retorts in every-
day life. Here are their insights.Don’t Think Too Much
In improv, the funniest responses
occur on the spur of the moment,
says Douglas Widick, a performerwho trained with Chicago’s Upright
Citizens Brigade. Don’t worry about
crafting the perfect reply. “It’s about
letting go of the need to judge our-
selves,” says Belina Raffy, CEO of the
Berlin-based company Maffick, which
uses improv skills in business. “Espe-
cially if we are operating from the de-
sire to make each other look good—a
key tenet of improvisation.” Not every
riposte will be a gem, but some will
hit their mark.Listen Before You Leap
Still, spend some time considering the
argument that your sparring partner
is laying out. Your retort may be more
accurate and therefore more success-
ful, says Jim Tosone, a business tech-
nology executive turned improv coach
who developed the Improv Means
Business program.Put a Few in the Bank
Some of history’s most skilled come-
back artists stored witticisms for later
use and were able to pull them out
of their memory at the critical time.
Winston Churchill was known for
his comebacks, but Tim Riley, direc-
tor and chief curator at the National
Churchill Museum in Fulton, Mis-
souri, says that many of his burns
were borrowed.
One of his most famous lines was
in response to a jab from politician
Bessie Braddock: “Winston, you are
drunk.” The prime minister replied,
nb “Bessie, my dear, you are ugly. But
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rd.com | may 2019 121