RD201906

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He died doing what he loved:
typing his symptoms into WebMD
instead of going to the doctor.
—@Ristolable

day of running around
without a drink or a
pill; if you can always
find contentment just
where you are—you
are probably a dog.
—Jack Kornfield,
author

“Let’s make vacations
less fun.”—Hotels
that put scales in the
bathrooms
—@michelleisawolf

“Dear, if you’ll make
the toast and pour the
juice,” said the newly-
wed bride, “breakfast
will be ready.”
“Good! What are
we having for break-
fast?” asked the new
husband.
“Toast and juice.”
—theadvocate.com

Period shows from the
Middle Ages and the
Renaissance are big
on Netflix, HBO, and
Amazon—Medici and
The Last Kingdom, to
name a couple. Here’s
a list of obscure char-
acters you’ll find way
down on the credits:


  1. The knight who was
    afraid to fight: Sir
    Render

  2. The undercover
    knight: Sir Veillance

  3. The knight who
    always guessed right:
    Sir Miser

  4. The knight who
    showed up unexpect-
    edly: Sir Prise

  5. The knight who
    drank too much: Sir
    Rhosis

  6. The dancing knight:
    Sir Prance-a-Lot

  7. The loudest knight of
    all: Sir Roundsound

  8. The foulmouthed
    knight: Sir Cuss
    —kingdompursuits.com


HERE’S TO DAD!


doc: Your dad has been
in a coma for nine days.
We’re running out of
ideas.
me: Let me try. (Goes to
adjust thermostat)
dad: (Opens one eye)
—@KeetPotato

scene: A race. The gun
goes off. Every runner
pretends to be wounded,
then laughs and starts
the race.
announcer: And the an-
nual Dad 5k is underway.
—@gojarbe

Why is it called a dad bod
and not a father figure?
—@SkinnerSteven

A few weeks ago, my dad
decided he was going to
order pizza from his iPad.
He’s almost finished.
—@simoncholland

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