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please, when we get there, give me

some guidance. Help me to solve this

mess that we’re going to have when

we get to California. Because I have

this secret that I haven’t shared with

Ron. I probably should have shared it

with him, but I just can’t.

I’d gotten in touch with Chad

Everett’s agent before we went on the

trip, and I’d asked if we could set up

a meeting between these two people.

I knew it was going to be a fantastic

moment on film.

But his agent made me understand

that Chad Everett was a very busy

man, and that he wasn’t going to have

time for something like that. In fact,

he didn’t really wanna encourage his

obsessive fans.

I probably should have told Ronnie

that, but he didn’t take disappoint-

ment very well.

I’d helped Ronnie write letters to

numerous celebrities over the years.

Ronnie was so excited, ’cause he got

this head shot in the mail. It was a

smiling picture of Chad Everett. Ron-

nie memorized every word that Chad

Everett had signed on this picture.

It said, “To Ron, Life’s not meant to

get them to do skits. He had this real

ability to bring people out.

These films that we made devel-

oped this underground popularity.

Eventually I was able to get some

funding to make a film where we

would drive across the country with

five people with disabilities from this

summer camp.

We were going to go from their

houses in New England all the way to

Los Angeles. Everyone on the trip had

their own hopes and dreams for go-

ing to California, a place they’d never

been. But Ronnie’s dreams overshad-

owed everybody else’s.

To him, California was the Holy

Land. It was the place where he was

destined to meet Mr. Chad Everett,

his spiritual brother. It was his big-

gest dream.

(He told everybody, “It’s my biggest

dream.”)

He took this biggest-dream mission

very, very seriously. It kind of stressed

him out. I felt like this whole situation

was mainly my responsibility as the

director of this ridiculous film, and I

decided I would be Ronnie’s room-

mate across the country.

And that’s how I ended up in this

hotel room in Tennessee, praying with

Ronnie Simonsen.

As Ronnie prays, I say my own little

prayer. I’m not a very religious person.

I had never really prayed much before.

I’m 29 years old, but this is the first

time I pray in earnest. I say, Please,

help us get to California safely. And

THERE WAS ONE MAN

WHOM HE HELD AS

SORT OF LIKE A GOD:

CHAD EVERETT.

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My Most Unforgettable Character