I know where you’re going with this.
... to imply, like, maybe I operated on
the wrong kidney? Like, maybe I did
the left one instead of the right one
because I don’t know the difference
between my—
No.
At least let me workshop it!
I’m sorry, Sam, but my decision is final.
(Pause)
April fool!
No way!
I can’t believe you bought that!
Man, you got me good! Guess that’s
why you’re the head of surgery.
Pass me my robot mask. It’s time to
make the rounds.That’s how it goes?
Yes.
You sure it wasn’t something about
April Fools’?
Yes.
What about the one where I tell the
patient his kidney operation was a
grand success, but then, while I’m
talking to him, I have an intern come
in and say, “Dr. Metzger, you’ve got
some dirt on your left shoulder”? And
I start to brush my right shoulder. And
the intern’s like, “No, your left shoul-
der.” And I’m like, “This is my left
shoulder.” And he’s like, “No, it’s your
right shoulder. What’s the matter with
you, Dr. Metzger? Don’t you know
your left from your right?” And then
we both look at the patient’s torso
with a look of horror, to imply, like ...
from the book hits and misses by simon rich.
copyright © 2018 by simon rich. reprinted by
permission of little, brown and company.
all rights reserved.illustration by Istvan Banyai rd.com 37