RD201904

“I apologize” is the very same as saying

“I’m sorry.” Unless you’re at a funeral.

—Demetri Martin, comedian

✦Accordion to a recent

survey, replacing words

with the names of mu-

sical instruments in

sentences often goes

undetected.

✦I wanted to marry my

English teacher when

she got out of jail, but

apparently you can’t

end a sentence with a

proposition.

✦If a tree falls in the

forest and nobody

hears, my illegal

logging business is

a success.

✦RIP boiling water—

you will be mist.

Two old friends, Ned

and John, lived for

baseball. Then one

Six quick gags that

might take a minute:

✦I was gonna tell a

time-traveling joke, but

you guys didn’t like it.

✦My three favorite

things are eating my

family and not using

commas.

“It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds.”

42 april 2019

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LAUGHTER

The best Medicine